Becoming a recluse?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MeAndYou, Dec 23, 2008.

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  1. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    So i am particularly stressed and anxious and emotions are just a balloon inflating in my stomach tonight. I have family for the holidays that i will be visiting, and i am so thankful for them, but at the same time i HATE it. I get SO anxious being in social situations. These are cousins and people that i usually just dont talk to at all other than during the holidays, so its like i dont really know them all that well, and am rather uncomfortable around them.

    My point is this. I get all wound up and anxious about social situations...and its driving me to seclusion. I am comfortable when i am with myself. But when i am in social situations i get so anxious and depressed. Anyone else who has this do you deal with it? I look to the future and i wonder how i can function like this for a lifetime, or what opportunities I'll be closing doors on as a result. I dont know how much longer I'll be able to keep my job, (I call out many times because i get so anxious and scared), and i am afraid of doing this my entire life, but holy shit i am more afraid of forcing myself into social situations my entire life.......

    Sometimes i believe i truly want to change for the better, but am just too comfortable in the position im in, even if that position brings suffering...if that makes sense. I guess i just needed to write some of this down...
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I understand how you feel. I find that I have to make myself go out or it gets worse. The more I allow myself to isolate the more difficult it is to be around people. As hard as it may be, make yourself interact. I hope this makes sense to you. :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello MeAndYou,

    I know exactly how you are feeling. I have severe anxiety ,paranoia and depression. I once stayed in my home for four years without leaving it once. The thoughts of going out made me panicky,depressed and suicidal. In the past 3 months I have gotten much better and go out occasionally now.

    Are you on any anti-anxiety medication?If not,you need to talk to your doctor about this issue because there is medicine that will ease the anxiety. Another thing that helped me was having a safe place. For four years my home was that safe place, keep adding on another until you feel the anxiety easing. It's not easy, but can be done. Please seek professional help. I'm always here if you need to talk about it. I wish you the best of luck :) Merry christmas x

  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    this is your world you live in, your life. I just take a deep breath and tell myself this is just life and get through it, gl.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Me and You,
    I am also an isolationist. I have stayed locked away from the world for fifteen years. I got in therapy about three years ago. My therapist has helped quite a bit. I now get out for a little while each day.
    If I go somewhere and have a panic attack I go home and stay in my room until it passes. Then I go back to where the panic attack started and make myself go in. She tells me it is necessary to go back once you feel better so you don't let it turn into a negative thought.
    I think most of us who suffer from anxiety have panick attacks. They can be extremely dabilitytating. ( i don't know if I spelled that right but you get the drift). Some times I will panick and not remember driving home, I'll just find my self sitting in my driveway. Now that is scarry, I am afraid some day I will hurt someone when I am having one of my episodes.
    You really need to seek professional help. I see my shrink once every three months, Take my meds faithfully, and see my therapist every other week. Please seek out the help!!! You also have us for support, and friendship!!Take Care!!~Joseph~
  6. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    Wow. Thanks guys for the replies...and gals :hug: :)

    Currently i am not on any medications or seeing any therapist. For a long while i was seeing a therapist, and a psychiatrist, and was on Lexapro for depression, and Xanax for anxiety. Abused the xanax, and eventually quit seeing my psych and therapist and then quit Lexapro when my perscription ran up. (cold turkey.) That was NOT fun. I've heard you dont know how you are emotionally and mentally OFF depression medication until youve been off of it for as long as you were on it. I dont know how true taht is, but I do admit the lexapro seemed to help a little bit. :dry:
  7. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    Id love to be a recluse only I need to get a job and not sure how I am going to handle that
  8. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    Interesting post. I don't know whether I ever had this issue, although I was shy and reclusive as a kid I guess. I would have thought it would be better to ask why you feel like this and then try and take steps to resolve it. There's certainly nothing wrong with being comfortable with your own company, but like you say, social shyness could be costly. Is it that you just don't like other people, or you think you'll be rejected, or is it due to past experiences ..? If you want to change, your desire for change will have to be greater than the comfort you feel from where you are now, otherwise that will pull you back.
  9. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hey Meandyou,

    :hug: I also struggle with social anxiety, and for me the holidays are the worst...except his holiday because I'm alone. But usually they're terrible. My anxiety usually kicks in with my depression...usually just before I want to kick the bucket.

    But there's always hope to feel better. There may be some missed opportunities, but getting better is the first priority, right? :smile:

    I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I am somewhat a recluse and I'm also somewhat social. I don't like social situations that much but I can function in social situations like going out to a club or a get together. I like being by myself and at home because I'm comfortable here. I think I have some social anxiety and I've found that the only way to overcome it is to go out occasionally and force yourself to have a good time.
  11. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    get anxiety-> hold self back from being active in social engagements-> feel it is necessary to continue to stay back to avoid conflict-> believe the more you try to be social, the more it will be in vain.. this point, you have a choice to make. Will you retract from society or go through unpleasant times in order to better yourself in the long run? I've been through this, and fighting the demons is not as difficult as it may seem. Maybe you should try some benzo's i.e. clonazepam, xanax to help you temporarily in social situations. After a while, you should notice yourself doing just fine with less medication and more will power.
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