Recently I have noticed my mind slides away from reality more and more. I drop into fantasies. They all focus around a few central themes. Getting Z back, bedding Y or meeting females. :blub: I feel so pathetic, when the stress gets to me, like yesterday at the baseball game, I go into fantasy mode. I dream up this world where I am not me. Where I am a nice social outgoing guy. I meet some girls on the train. I trade-off my tickets to the couple who is with them and I spend the whole day and night with them. Wooing each one and at the end of the night meeting my dream girl. However, then I snap back to reality so very hard. This time it was on the ride home. A hot girl was wearing a very loose shirt and no bra, and was with a guy. Suddenly my real personality shatters my dream. I stop smiling I stop being happy I stop enjoying life. I suddenly become a slave to my worthless self :depressed: I just don't know what to do... whenever I get down I escape to these places. I lose touch with the world around me. Whether it be at work or in my room or out being social. Reality escapes me so I can appear happy. However, that only works as long as I am alone. Then there is my hope dreams....I do not even want to think about those. Because they come to me so often... really hard with Y right now. I know they are just me having wishful thinking... I know I need to stop having them so that when reality crashes onto me I am not depressed. :blub: but at the same time I can't do that. Because in reality all of these are keeping me going. :depressed: I really worry what will happen when these fantasies turn to suicide. I am also scared that I am going to lose touch with reality more and more to coup with my misery... to the point of where I cannot tell reality from fantasy :blub: I am scared... I just want to lie in bed all day. However, I can't... because then my hope fantasies come back... this sucks... I just don't know what to do.