Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Starlite, Mar 2, 2009.
and it's all coming back
What is coming back? Can you talk to us more about what's going on?
the urge to cut!
Did anything trigger it?
The important thing to remember about an urge is that they can be beaten. Having an urge and self harming are two very different things. One is a thought and one is an action. Whilst the thought is distressing, it doesn't have to turn into an action.
You can beat this if you want to
i just feel like im losing all control over every thing in my life right now. Damn depression, damn all this to hell! I can't cope! I have lost sight , insight, I can't see the future, things are bleak, way too bleak. You would think just getting out of the hospital i would be ok, but no, i wasn't ok in there, i wasn't ok when i left. im not ok now. I made it through last night because a dear person on here helped me , but i can't depend on that all the time. I'm not a dependent person! My thoughts are jumbled, all over the place right now, im confused. i feel like im falling and i can see the ground, but i can't reach it, it seems close, but yet so far away, i can almost touch it, but yet i never do! I don't know, im losing control, the will not to cut. I can't!
It's so hard when you feel in that desperate place. It sounds, to be honest, like you haven't really received the help and support, professionally, that you need to help you through this difficult time. Further on from your urges to self harm, you sound very desperate right now and very scared. Is there anyone that you can talk to? Anyone that can help you get some more support?
Keep talking to us.
To be honest, I hide alot of things, as i feel it isn't important. I just live on the fact that someone else needs the time worse than me. I feel guilty for even taking up space here. You are right though i am in a desperate place.
It sounds like actually, whilst you are minimalising what you feel, it is actually very important. What would happen if you ignored the feeling of it not being important and got your needs met? Maybe by seeing a professional? Maybe by talking about what is going on? Maybe by doing something else positive?
Perhaps venting it to us would give you a greater outlet. I have found writing or even doodling to be helpful. Try alternatives to letting it out: what do you have to lose?
Sticking your hand in icy water halps - it's both freezing and starts to hurt. Doodling is a great idea.