Since i last posted. Lifes been up then down, up then down. Right now its down. Medicated for a long time, then came off, then i was fine, now im not. Weight gain, personal relationships down the pan. Dysfunctional family, who i hate. Gone passed caring to be honest. Im not a teenager anymore craving attention, im a 23 year old woman with responcibilities.... who simply cannot be bothered to fight for her surivial everyday. To fight for herself and her friends and to fight for the love from the other. I do not want to have to fight for happiness after suffering so much sh*t the last few years. So, as soon as my affairs are in order, my life assurance, my mortgage, personal belongings are packed away, and everything is in order i'm simply going to vanish. I feel like i've been struggling for too long and quite frankly i would rather not exist than have to feel so up and down. This site has supported me alot the last few years, i have only every posted when i've been scraping the bottom of the barrell or right up high. Its strange i always come to this site as well when i hit rock bottom, to me its a secret outreach, somewhere i can vent to people who dont know me and arent going to have me sectioned or taken into hospital. Somewhere i can truely be free.