I cut myself today for the first time since the attempt. Hoo boy, forgot what that feels like. Light of course, only a little blood. But it was something I could actually feel. Might even get a decent nights sleep tonight. Been waking up later and later these days, didn't get out of bed today until noon. Trouble is, I think to myself "maybe I've found an outlet finally" but I only have this window of opportunity to explore these for a short while and will need to go back to being "normal" soon enough. I'm like so screwed aren't I?