been a while

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by unnoticed, Sep 22, 2014.

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  1. unnoticed

    unnoticed Well-Known Member

    Just need to vent. For the last couple of months so much happened but I didn't deal with how it was affecting me. I was just pushing it aside afraid to really feel anything. Tonight it got too much. It's almost 7 am and I've been up for the whole night feeling alone, suicidal, unimportant.. It's hard to believe anyone still gives a shit. But maybe that's a good thing. I'm so tired of feeling this way. I didn't sleep well in months. It's making me physically ill and I'm so sick of not being able to reach out to anyone. Not a single person knows how I am. I don't even feel ok posting stuff here anymore. There is so much I want to say, that I need to talk about but I learned its better not to... Sorry this is such a stupid, pointless thread.
  2. Caminho - lunar

    Caminho - lunar Active Member

    It´s not stupid. I understand you - I felt that way too. I guess I still do but I'm getting better, sometimes I believe there is hope.
    Keep coming to SF, posting or just reading what the others have to say. It really helps a lot to find out that we are not alone in these thoughts.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can post here on forum how you are feeling someone will reach out to you Just details can be triggering for sure you can be more open in private diary
    I go there to post away alot of pain and it is not seen then just a release for me to let go of some things
    NO post is stupid ok no way I am glad you posted
  4. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    Have you seen a doctor yet? Lack of sleep is a serious condition that should be adressed, especially in your current state of mind, you need to reach out for help, I know it's hard, but you must, you are not alone, we are all here for you, like total eclipse said no post is stupid, you can be open here and share what you feel, most of us have been through similar situations so we can empathise.

    Remember, we are here for you and you are not alone, please feel free to post anything you want :)
  5. unnoticed

    unnoticed Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all your replies. I've seen about 8 different doctors for depression and problems related to it over the years and ended up in hospital about 4 times. If I do take meds I stop a few weeks later. They always just make me worse and I know you are supposed to try many different ones before giving up on them and I tried many. And anyway I don't trust myself with pills. I'm sorry this is so negative. I just wasn't open about this is months so just trying to let some of it out I guess.
  6. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    I also hate the drugs, well not the drugs per se, but the fact that I need them, one thing is certain we need to accept that we may need them for the rest of our lifes.
    You need to find a good doctor, one you trust and are confortable with and stick with him, antidepressants take a few weeks to start being effective, so this first few weeks are the hardest in depression treatment, your doctor should be aware of this and find a way to help you cope, but you need to follow the doctor's instructions in order to get better and chances are you will, just give it a bit more time, it's a wonderful feeling when the fog that clouds your mind starts to lift and you start to see things clearly, depression really does skew our view of the world and of ourselfs, I hate that it makes us feel worthless, hopless, unlovable and unworthy of joy, but depression is wrong we are not worthless or unlovable or unworthy of anything, we deserve happiness :) Please don't be sorry for posting negative things, this is what this forum is for I guess, a place where people with similar problems can support each other.
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