Been a while

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Xistence, Jun 5, 2009.

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  1. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Hey everyone! It's been a while since I've been here.

    So anyway, I've been horribly depressed lately and I don't know what to do about it. I'm scared to talk to anyone because I don't want to be an annoyance and I don't feel like I really have any reason to be depressed in the first place. I don't want to be seen as a whiny bastard by my friends or any potential friends. Any ideas?
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    If they really are your friends, they shouldn't see you as a whiney bastard or an annoyance. And depression really sucks because it can hit you for no reason at all.

    You can talk here though; I know it's not the same as talking to someone in person, but it's something.
  3. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Everything was fine for a while, but now it has been getting worse and worse almost every day. I used to talk to people when I was depressed, but I can't trust my friends anymore. I've seen the way they react to other people being depressed and it's made me reluctant to talk to anyone when something is wrong.

    My parents used to ask me why I would never talk to them, but I couldn't tell them the real reason. All my life I've only seen them yelling at each other. How could I ever get the idea that I could confide anything in them? Mom isn't bad, besides her habit of freaking out over everything, but my dad is a total ass.

    I don't really know why I'm depressed. I guess I'm just lonely, but I can't make friends unless I suck it up for a while. I don't think I'm going to get suicidal or anything, but I have gotten that way in the past. Really wondering what to do.

    It makes me even more depressed when I type it out. It doesn't really seem like I have a reason to be depressed. Other than the crap up there I have a wonderful life. I feel so ungrateful...
  4. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Have you tried a therapist? You would not be an annoyance to them at all, also you can talk to them about a lot more than your friends or family also they don't judge. A lot of people tell me I have no reason to be depressed but its def not something, anyone can say because if they have never been depressed they don't know what its like. If you want you PM me, or anyone else on this forum and open up with us since we know what its like to be depressed.
  5. damaged goods

    damaged goods Active Member

    If you've grown up watching your parents just yell at each other, then maybe you weren't taught coping skills, and how to resolve problems in relationships, so of course this makes it difficult to talk to them.

    It's hard not to be angry with them for this, but the truth is that they can't teach what they don't know.

    You are probably better off talking to a neutral person, like a therapist, or venting in this forum where you won't be judged as whiny.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Xistence,

    I'm sorry you're feeling low again.
    Have you tried counselling, you won't feel like an annoyance talking to one, that's what they're there for.
    You certainly aren't an annoyance here either.
    Keep reaching out,you're definitely not alone.
  7. tranceadikd

    tranceadikd Member

    Most 'friends' if they havnt been throughh depression themselves they CAN NOT and WILL NOT understnad the pain.
    Your lucky you havnt said anything to make them think differently of you. I myself do this have to bottle things up because i cant trust anyone even counselors.

    Your mum only freaks out because she hasnt got control of your feelings, is soo scared/upset to hear that her son could be depressed/suicidal and it is a mums instinct to worry especially when they hear the words depressed or suicide. Parents treat these subjects as a taboo which makes it soo much worse for us kids and they dont even know there doing it....

    Its natural for a father to be an ass about it he really doesnt want to hear it.... hes not depressed why should you be... (i have come too realise this from my own parents)

    Really it gets to a point in your life that you are so sick of making friends because it ends up in the same shit. You get sick of being hurt... Sometimes thatss why its better to have friends over the net. You can be who eva you like and say what ever you like without being judged... (as much)
    It makes you more depressed when you type it out because you are actually thinking of it word by word. Thats normal...

    Hope your feeling better soon

    feel free to pm me anytime ay
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