It's been a while since I've posted her... I thought I had my emotions under check, but events as of lately have me questioning myself. Recent mess ups at work, which I really don't want to get into for variety of reasons, one being to keep my company and its clients out of it. Nothing needs to be said more than I just messed up on something I find really bad, no one else seems to be on my case about it, but I just don't like it. Really it goes further just with a belief that I won't go any farther with my career with how I see things, I'm talented but I don't have people skills, I can't sell myself in interviews for positions higher up. It's more than work... I feel like I can't help my fiance get through Grad school... I'm not having money issues, but I would like to be farther in life... I just want wish I could make her life easier... I don't want it to sound completely about work... Everything I do, every slight mess up I make... It makes me feel like a failure, she deserves so much more than me.... I've broken 2 phones in the few weeks... that makes me feel like a failure. I just don't know what to do... I sat in my walk-in closet the other night with my sword to my stomach... The only thing keeping me alive is I don't want to see her sad... I can't tell her how I feel because I don't want to hurt her, or make her feel bad... To make the situation worse her sister is living with us for the next few weeks who I don't seem to get along with, I can't especially open up with her around because I just don't think she'll take it right... She'll probably want her sister to leave me is how I feel, so I feel alone and I really don't have anyone to talk to. So I am desperately reaching out and grasping at this point.