Been away for a while, but back and in crisis!!!

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by ParanoidGirl, May 27, 2012.

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  1. ParanoidGirl

    ParanoidGirl Member

    Hi All,

    You all helped me before Christmas when I was sat with a bowl of pills and a bottle of gin, after my partner of 14 years left me.

    Today I am not suicidal bet extremely low, my ex have revealed so much since then and knowing I have no family or friends it leaves me in a bad place.

    I have gone onto lots of relationship forums who just tell me to "get over it" or "just move on", which is really unhelpful when I feel without him, even after everything, I have nothing. This man was my life and my sole focus for 14 years.

    Here is my story:

    14 Years, not married, no kids, no property, 4 cats
    He Left:
    After a business trip Nov 2011 (longest we had been apart) 3 weeks
    Left on:
    15th November 2011
    He felt we were more friends than a couple, he needed time to think, sort his head out

    Strung me along for months before confessing to an affair with a female colleague on business trip

    Told me that was all the secrets and yes he was still with her, and yes, he loved her

    He has recently told me that having left me 6 months ago, OW is 5 months pregnant

    He is "over the moon" about becoming a Dad (a phrase not in his vocab)

    He was diagnosed with depression before he left and got no treatment

    So after 6 months, he has a woman, a baby on the way and they are getting a mortgage together

    OW left her 5 year boy friend 1 year ago after not being able to concieve (no swimmers)

    I am scared to move on, without the hope that he will come home, I have nothing.

    Caroline x
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun but he has moved on he is not thinking about YOU at all hun just hurting you still. YOu are grieving a loss a dream a way of life YOu still need therapy to help you over this loss YOu can have that dream again but you need help to move forward concentrate on that ok h un get the therapy to help YOU heal He is not worth all this sadness and pain hun please know that you are better without him and you will find someone who deserves you affection
  3. ReadyToFly

    ReadyToFly New Member

    Sweetheart, as much as it pains me to say this, and as much as it's gonna hurt you to hear it,

    He's not coming back. He's dragged you on 14 years too long. You deserve better, you deserve so much better.
    Cherish the memories you've once shared, and move on.
    It's not gonna be an easy ride, but it'd surely be possible.
    You can do this.

    I believe in you.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I agree with what those above me posted. He has moved on and even if hee were to decide to come back you would never be able to trust him again and relationships cannot be built without trust. The best thing for you to do arty this point is leave him behind and begin to rebuild your life into something that does not involve him. Grieve the loss of your relationship as you need to do that, but take time to heal. You are worth someone far better than what he he have you. :hug:
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