Been cutting a lot

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Marshmallow, Aug 28, 2007.

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  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    The past few months I've been cutting a LOT. I can't seem to stop. The slightest mood change and i just wanna do it. I've even started doing it in public places, like the toilets of a pub. I'm starting to carry blades around with me so i always have one if i need it. I've now got a few bad scars on my legs :dry: have been cutting in places where people can't see them now, that way i do it more.

    Dunno what i'm talking about anymore.

  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    ima think of a way to help u thru this baby, never stop believein that things can get better. i love you more than ull ever know and am here for u always xx
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    you need to stop carrying blades with you. Firstly give up cutting in public places. And you need some kind of alternative, though thats very hard to do.
  4. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    I know sometimes it can get really hard. I've been doing that too, and just the other day, I was feling really down, and I cut right before work, like minutes before. And when I did, the blood started to go through the shirt, and alot of people asked me about it. Luckily it wasn't hard to throw them off, because it turned a brownish once it was dry and I could pass it as like a hot chocolate spill or something.

    You really shouldn't carry em around Vikki, :sad:.

    Worried about you, please take care. :hug:
  5. Blackness is right. It's difficult. So start small. Lately I've had lots of trouble myself due to the fact that my ways are easy to do pretty much anywhere in public... so I can hardly talk-however-I know it's not done for enjoyment's sake. It's a way of dealing with something...isn't it? And when done too much it becomes routine..... I'll tell you what, the routine is a boring waste of time. Always cleaning up to avoid infection, the ointment to lessen scaring, going out of the way to hide it when you have to & the suprisingly annoying pain that lingers(if you harm sensitive spots like I do). It's no fun at all. just tryin to help-think I said too much-I'll shut up now
  6. Nightfall

    Nightfall Member

    You wrote that you´ve been lately cutting a lot. What exactly happend a few months ago? How did you cope with stress before you started to self harm?
    I think first you should stop carrying blades with you. Do you have a diary? You can write down your feelings, trying to analyze why in exactly that moment you feel pressure to cut yourself. And than finding alternatives.
    Its a long hard way, but it works. I´m "clean" now for almost 4 years.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 29, 2007
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Like the others have said, try not to carry blades around. Whats made you cut in the first place.
  8. eih

    eih Well-Known Member

    aww.. I'm so sorry vikki, having an SH addiction is really hard of course....

    :hug: good luck stopping... try and stop gradually if you have to... or stop by trying to slowly ward off the feelings.. if you can just ignore or distract yourself from ONE feeling or compulsion to SH, think of how much that one little victory is worth, you can definatly do it.. just for now try and stop carrying blades with you everywhere..
  9. wanting

    wanting New Member

    the worst thing about cutting is ages after,i found out after i cut the tops of my thighs,these opened up into wide horriffic cuts and equaly horrific scars that i have had to explain away knowing that people didnt believe me for a second as thay knew a bit of my history of suicide attempts.I am wanting to do it right now again because of recent upset after nine months since my last suicede attempt and self harming episodes.sorry for rambling on and i know i should take my own advise right now,but speak to your doc or thrapist or a trusted freind about your troubles that are triggering these episodes.If you want to chat i would welcome it as i would like to chat to someone also.
  10. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Cut quite a lot today, about 20 times or so, not bad. Still got 2 blades on me. Brought 10 razors earlier, tried to get into to cut with a clean blade. Accidently cut my finger. Was bleeding pretty badly for about 10 minutes. Then i shouted 'fuck' cos it hurt a lot and she she made me give her all the razors i brought. Now shes got them, i don't know where they are. She says shes not gonna use them but i know she will. When she does it's my fault. I got the razors.


    Need to cut. Need to cut. Need to cut.
  11. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    im not going to use them
    and neither are u
    i love u xxxxxxxxxx
  12. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Vikki, you know full well the dangers of cutting and I know Sam wouldn't like that. Why not try to channel all that energy you have to cut into something else.
  13. eih

    eih Well-Known Member

    :sad: aww hun it's not your fault...just please please please don't cut, please try and beat it, you can do it

    :hug: my thoughts are with you... please try and beat it... you are worth it...
  14. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

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