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Been feeling suicidal for a while...

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First of all, sorry but this is going to be a long one...
About three weeks ago, I very nearly tried to kill myself. I've considered it before, but I never actually planned it out before that day. I knew that my parents were going to be out late and that any combination of my father's medication (he is on several for a severe heart condition) would kill me.

In the summer, I had admitted to my very best friend that I had thought about committing suicide before and she made me promise that I would never kill myself. I promised and then when I almost tried to kill myself a few weeks ago, the promise I made to her was the only thing that stopped me because she texted me as I was about to do it, apologizing for our little fight (the first time we had ever fought about anything, and honestly one of the main reasons I was about to do it) and the text message made me remember that promise.

I didn't tell her about almost killing myself until about two weeks ago, and when I did, she was understandably angry with me. But we talked things out and she understands why I wanted to do it, although she still isn't happy about it.

But, earlier this week, I was seriously considering suicide again. I don't know if I should tell her or not though because she was in an accident and so now she's at home resting and can barely move (I've been visiting her every day). I know I should tell her, but I just don't know if it's the right time to and I know that she will be completely pissed at me. And I don't know what else to do to stop these feelings. Now, I'm happy I didn't go through with it, but when I'm trying to, it doesn't feel like that. I can't talk to my parents about this for certain reasons and I don't know what to do. Help?

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
You should talk to a professional your doctor your school councillor about these feelings and get some therapy so these thoughts will stay away h ugs
can you talk about what is making you feel suicidal in the first place?

so I think for most people the standard procedure is to get therapy and meds. also try to resolve issues that are causing you to feel suicidal, like problems with relationships, abuse, etc.

can you explain why you can't talk to your parents about this? I understand that parents are often a source of problems rather than a source of support, but I'm just wondering what your particular reasons are
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