Been kicked out.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ellie Grey, Jun 5, 2013.

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  1. Ellie Grey

    Ellie Grey Well-Known Member

    My mother told me to "Go to your uncles on Friday and never bother coming back, if your things aren't gone by then, I'm selling them"
    She doesn't care what happens now, she's made it clear she no longer gives a shit. If I can't go to my uncles, or if they find some type of reason that I am not allowed to stay (as I have to legally move to my uncles, as I'm 15 years old) I have to go into foster care.

    My uncle lives in a different town and it's a lot of traveling every day for school. I'm depressed and feeling like shit because my mother seems to hate me and my education is going to be up the wall, and I'm in the middle of my exams.

    For years she's called me a slut, ****,(slut and **** only used once) bastard, bitch, selfish, ungrateful, disgusting, immature, twat, etc. She's said because I'm scarred (self harm) that no man will ever want to date me, that I look like a "freak" to people. That I'm the most selfish person she had ever met, and that she never wants anything to do with me again.

    I'm covered in cuts and some needs stitches, I've got pills and hell, I just want to take them. My father is dead, my mother treats me like shit and doesn't care, my sister is stuck in the middle and lives across the country.
    I've been like this for so long I look in the mirror every day and see the cuts and scars, I look at myself and think "Worthless, useless, stupid, ugly, freak, disgusting, weak, pathetic, needy, spoilt, selfish, self centered, slut"

    My education is messy right now, I go to a special needs school and as I said, I literally just finished 1 exam and am doing another.

    I hate living like this, I just hate living in general, I just want to be with my father. One of the few people that never treated me like I ruined their fucking life.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You hun are none of those awful things your mother say to you ok. Perhaps it would be better if you were in the care of someone who would show you that you are special and important hun. You are in such a toxic environment with your mother I do hope where ever you go hun you are treated with respect you deserve hugs
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    From the sounds of your home moving is likely a good thing. It is hard to move and change environments but if the alternative is what you have then change is better than allowing the current situation to continue. Maybe a fresh start someplace else can be a positive step.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You couldn't live in that environment anyway it's unhealthy to say the least. Your mum obviously has very little knowledge on mental illness. I think moving to your uncle's is a good move. How does he treat you? and also regarding you mum, nobody deserves to be disrespected and brought down like that.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Please try to hear this...your mother is troubled, and it is not your fault...I wish you lived closer as I can always use to be an Auntie to someone as sweet as you...I know you feel abandoned, but maybe this is a good thing because your mother does not sound like someone you should live with...also, focus on your education so you do not have to worry as much about your future (this is coming from someone who was horrifically abused and neglected throughout my childhood). Because of my education and experience I had/have a lot of freedom...and find need to get your mother's abusive narratives out of your head and move on...and keep posting, and PM me if I can send you caring will be in my thoughts and prayers
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