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Been Lurking For A While Decided I'd Join finally.(My Story)

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Snackbar, Jan 20, 2014.

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  1. Snackbar

    Snackbar New Member

    A little bit about me...I'm 18 year old male who is lost in a world of confusion...I've been mentally depressed since 11 or 12.
    I have no ambition to do anything. I'm living at home with my parents...I feel like a nobody...and right now I don't even care...about the future..

    But I'm sick of this life..of just withering away and having a 9-5 someday...I wish I would not even wake up all the time..I see no hope for myself.....I'm simply put a loser.....A degenerate...and bother..to all my friends and family....

    I have no idea what I want to do with my life....I'm too lazy and sick to even get up before 10am most days because I'm not getting up to anything new...I feel stuck in the matrix...a hopeless vortex I will never get out of....I'm a lost cause....
    My friends say they wish "I was normal"....I say I wish I was never born....there's nothing here on earth for me..and I feel like there nothing will be...no matter. How many girlfriends I have, memories I make, how much sex I have ect....It all feels like a delusional in a fairly tale novel....

    I now stopped answering my friends calls and having the will to even hang out with anybody....about two months ago.....before that every weekend we went to frat parties and I had sex with wild women...but still always a introverted depressed person...
    the only thing that ceased my disease was alcohol..and I knew I couldn't depend on it any longer after depending on it for 2+ yrs...

    I've asked for "gods" help countless times when I was at the peak of my depression when I was 12-13...and gave up in him...and experimented with the darker side of religion...Nothing ever happened...but I told god to fuck off and make my life as miserable as possible along time ago.....I'm still skeptical about god...but could this be a sign that he fucked me up???If there is a such thing as a god......

    Thanks guys....If I have this in the wrong section...a mod would be glad to move it somewhere else..
    Peace out bye.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Snackbar. Welcome to SF! You are not alone with those feelings around here.

    Some quick questions - have you had a had a physical check up lately? Are you seeing a therapist/counsellor? There are physical things that can cause depression, lethargy, etc. Might be a good idea to see the doc. Doc can also prescribe anti-depressants if needed, and maybe refer you to a counsellor if you're not seeing one now. Sometimes having someone to talk to who is not part of our regular group (family and friends) helps us see things in a new light.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I hope that you do see your doc to determine what's got you so low. As you share things here, I hope that you make some friends and maybe discover that there are goals you hope to achieve! Stay safe!
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Welcome Snackbar.. Lots of ppl here in same position as you.. Maybe being with them on the forums and chat rooms will help all of you..like Acy suggested, think some visits to mental health professional might help some!!!

    Take care, Jim
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Snackbar good to see you reaching out for support here. Depression is so hard to beat on your own hun so please as stated talk to your doctor ok get a medical and ask your doctor to get you some supports to help pull you out of that darkness your in. Also hun why not try to volunteer at a pet shelter or somewhere that will bring you a reason to get up in morning it does help it help my girl Keep posting ok
  5. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    Hello Snackbar,
    I'm glad you finally decided to join here. I'm glad you finally manage to reach out here. :) Depression seems to affect a lot of people's lives but trust me, you're not alone in this. There's ways that this can get better, you probably visit a doctor and tell them how you've been feeling. When I was first suffering with my thoughts I felt very scared and nervous but I'm glad that I finally told someone about it. This is a very supportive forum and post anytime that you need to. :redrose:
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi snackbar, welcome to here, there are many people who will reach out and befriend you on SF :) You ask if there's such a thing as god and I can see that you really would like to come to know a higher power to help give you meaning and strength and purpose for living this life we've all been given while on the planet. Most of it doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense that much, if we discount there being any objective purpose to it - we run out of steam ourselves because there are so many obstacles that we feel we have been given to overcome. (somethig' happned wit cmp - wonttypeproperl, sorry, wll write aother)
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    just to say, please, please, hang in there and get to know the wonderful and kind people on this site who will be here for you no matter what......... and give yourself your best time and patience to help to heal your thinking into a place of peace and hope. There are definite things you can do to help yourself, as well as allowing others to help you. PM me if you'd like, blessings, urP
  8. Snackbar

    Snackbar New Member

    Thanks guys for being awesome about this...I tried to talk to my friends about it....but they've never had long term depression like I have..I'm weary to go to the doctors about it also..because my family doctor has known my mom and dad since they were little and it would be bad if everybody in my family knew about my problem...I don't want them to worry about it tbh..thanks again for the welcoming and support.
  9. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    try getting a different doctor? or looking into it
    also, belated welcome
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