This post may end up long and boring but here goes... I have been off medications for over a year now. The last numerous ones caused awful reactions. One made me pass out every time Id stand up to quick or would get to hot. One made my skin turn bright red and blister of. Another made my muscles stiff and I actually dragged my right leg around before I said anything (because otherwise I loved the medication).. One made me a zombie..In the past I have gained weight, stopped eating, been awake for three days at a time, threw up every time I tried to eat, ate to the point I could explode, sleep constantly for like 20 hours a day, had face movements I couldnt controll, so many nightmares I wished to die in my sleep, and more painful/burning rashes then I care to count. So when my temp insurance was dropped I was thrilled to not be forced on medications anymore. The temp insurance was in place while I was being forced to take medications... Well things havent improved much..I dont sleep well..I dont have good eating habits..Im still over weight..Im still suffering major/frequent depression.. I have headaches..I cant concentrate (often)..Im short tempered..I have trouble dealing..And so forth.. A few weeks back my mom asked me to seek treatment. I dont qualify for free services anywhere and cant afford to make the trips to the free clinics across my state (60 plus miles away per clinic). She said to visit the local medical clinic.. She offered to pay for the visits if I would sign up for sliding fee/reduced fee. She offered to pay for blood work. She offered to pay for my gas to the appointments. She offered to pay for medications.. Heres the problem..Im afraid of the medications..Im afraid of burning rashes, bleeding skin, legs that dont work, stumock aches that dont go away, headaches that never end, sleeping constantly/not at all, passing out, and weight gain.. The last doctor I seen said I honestly have been on every freaking medication.. Expect the ones requiring blood work and maybe a few others but I had allergic reactions to similar meds..My options were running thin... Advice please? Should I suffer the side effects and be mierable..Is mental stability a trade off for physical comfort? What should I do?