I have had an eating disorder for a long ass time. Been in and out of treatment. Last time was about 5 years ago. Since then I have been a very high functioning anorexic/bulimic, maintaining a low weight but not scary. I have had a lot of stress in my life the past several month. Feeling like shit and all that suicidal crap. I still feel like shit, but I somewhat okay with the ideation. But I've been losing a bit of weight. And I like to say it is only a few pounds, which it is but I look like hell. I guess i don't know how to stop it right now. I am inclined to try to get passed my lowest weight. It's only 9 pounds away from where I am right now. I want to stop it but I don't know how. I know how to eat healthy and how not to throw up. I just don't know if I have the energy to try. I'm depressed and seeing the number on the scale drop is a comfort. okay, i'm just venting. thanks if you read this.