been sick for a long time

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by wunderwood, Nov 20, 2008.

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  1. wunderwood

    wunderwood Well-Known Member

    I have had an eating disorder for a long ass time. Been in and out of treatment. Last time was about 5 years ago. Since then I have been a very high functioning anorexic/bulimic, maintaining a low weight but not scary.

    I have had a lot of stress in my life the past several month. Feeling like shit and all that suicidal crap. I still feel like shit, but I somewhat okay with the ideation. But I've been losing a bit of weight. And I like to say it is only a few pounds, which it is but I look like hell. I guess i don't know how to stop it right now. I am inclined to try to get passed my lowest weight. It's only 9 pounds away from where I am right now. I want to stop it but I don't know how. I know how to eat healthy and how not to throw up. I just don't know if I have the energy to try.

    I'm depressed and seeing the number on the scale drop is a comfort.

    okay, i'm just venting. thanks if you read this.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sometimes it is comforting to have control, regardless of this control is good or bad for us...hope you find comfort in voicing how you feel and knowing there are ppl here who will listen...big hugs, J
  3. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry.
    i know the feeling and i hear you.
    please be careful. resist it if you can at all.
  4. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    I understand what you mean. I'm here if you want to talk about it. :hug:
  5. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member


    It can't be easy to put weight back on when you're feeling so low. What I tend to suggest to people as a short-term measure is to make a smoothie of complan (you can get in most supermarkets, boots etc) and fruit (particularly those higher in glucose like bananas, which also cover up the often nasty taste of the complan) until it is easier to eat more solids again as it keeps up your level of vits, calories etc. I was on this diet for some 2 months when I was in an acute phase of depression earlier this year and just couldn't eat (I've never had an eating disorder as such but I've always been a small person) - I obviously do not recommend you stay on it for that long and try to eat solids when you can and as often as possible. Even if it's regular small 'snacks' throughout the day.

    As for the long term, are you seeing a therapist or counsellor? On medication? Are you having trouble sleeping and might benefit from a course of insomnia medication?

    Can you think of what might make you happy? Is there anything you'd like to do?
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