I started thinking about when i became suicidal, and I guess I've been for quite much longer than i thought. I found this i wrote on another forum a couple of years ago, at that time I was 14/15 years old. And i become depressive when I was about 12/13. " Programvare 25/11-2007 : 23:19 I can't see why I feel so down at night. I can be perfectly normal through the entire day, but just when I'm going to bed I feel like hell. Nothing feels worth it, and I just wanna end it all, right there and then. I cry myself to sleep too often and I don't even have a reason. Another fact is that i even enjoy it sometimes. I like crying and to feel the emptiness inside me. But in a very strange way. Maybe it's a good thing to cry, to let all the bad stuff out. I don't know." So, how long have you been feeling suicidal, having suicidal thoughts? Because I'm like planning different methods, scenarios every single day. I can't even look at a car without imagining it to crush my body. I wanna just wanna OD on something and disappear. I can't even get myself to cry anymore. I just feel empty and hopeless.