I been thinking way to much. Head hurts, being alone bites. Nights are worst than days. Sent her a million texts last Saturday, guess she truly doesn't care. Can't think of kids my mind is too cloudy. Plans in place, I smile for these people they have no clue. Love her still, guess my depression pushed her away, she gave up on our love, on me. Giving up is all she taught me. Have called hotlines to much lately, ER visits just cost money no one has. I can't afford my meds, as it was her insurance I no longer have. Thought these were only feelings but each day is the same. I can't cope, I don't know how to cope, I am just a boy in a mans body. I don't know I feel there is no use in going on, I just wan't my old life back, I don't wan't to start all over.