beer and relapse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by afterlifepig, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. afterlifepig

    afterlifepig Well-Known Member

    i had stopped drinking for over a year and then just last week i bought a case of beer (smuggled it into my room as i am not allowed to drink by my parents). this was the second time recently that i did this.

    long story short, i came to the point of seriously wanting to die (in a happy way) - but i have too much unfinished business so there's no threat of me acting on such feelings.

    so if i wanted to kill myself the main thing would be first cushioning the blow to my parents, so basically moving away and living on my own for a year or two. anyway i could decide all this on my own and do what i have decided i'm going to do.

    but i figured i'd post here to see if anybody had interesting input. basically i like being able to talk to someone ....
  2. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    Hi, I am Mox

    It is nice to meet you. I can see that like EVERYONE here you are facing some demons. Feel free to read my story below my text and know that you are not alone in how you feel.

    Why do you want to kill yourself for? The more you share the more we can help you. So do not be shy and just let it all out. Here you are SAFE, no one will ridicule you , no one will call you stupid or make fun of you in any way; that behavior is not tolerated here. SF exists for one reason, to help people.

    One thing you said about wanting to die in a "happy way." That does not exist, death is not pretty , it is often very gruesome and it will hurt people you love and care about. It is not something to take lightly.

    So what caused you to start drinking again? What's her name =)

    We are here to help you, you are among friends, feel free to PM or IM me anytime

    Take Care of yourself
  3. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Now thats very cynical Mox and wont exactly endear you to half the membership here now will it. I know, its in jest :p

    Did the drinking become a problem and is that why you stopped? If so, then yes, its something to be concerned about and something you should try to stop now before it gets to be a problem again.

    My hope is, by the time you have done with your "unfinished" business, you will no longer have any urge to end your life. So take your time, do what you feel you have to do, then take another look at your life. Things might well have changed, for the better, and you might even dare to be happy [yes, I mentioned the H word].

    You dont mention any worrying health concerns, just suicidal thoughts, anything else going on we should know about or you want to tell us about?
  4. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    I agree that if your drinking is a problem and you get out of control or lose control of life because of drinking then you definitely should stop or try your best to minimize it. Alcohol is a depressant (most of us know) so when you are already feeling depressed or suicidal drinking can magnify it. The other day I was in the chat while you were talking to some other members (I believe it was Fri night) and I noticed that you go back and forth with the idea of wanting to die/taking your life. How about not making a decision about that? Or at least for a while not thinking of it? I know this is a suicide forum and lots of us here are suicidal or have been at some time in our lives, but that does not mean that suicide needs to be contemplated on a daily basis. Maybe you need a distraction? I hope you feel better and can figure some things out.
  5. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    I don't mean to sound hypocritical. I have my fair share of depressing, ready-to-end-it-all threads on this site so I know contemplating ending it can be a serious issue. That's why I mention distraction in some form. Just from personal experience something that occupies my mind helps with those thoughts.