Behind the face

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bostonensis, May 4, 2007.

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  1. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    My Dad,
    I am so lost since you've gone.I am so alone.I want to go wherever you are. I am so tired of struggling.Please come & get me,take me wherever you go. There is no way in hell I can become whole again.I have gone so far I don't know where I am anymore, how did I get here.My Dad died a year ago of colon CA.I saw him suffer from pain 24/7.Being with him during those times dehumanized me.My mom also passed away 4 months prior to my Dad.Both them died of cruel & horrific death.Before that I use to be homicidal when my child was taken away from me by a psychopath & put bruises on my son to torture me. I endured these injustice of losing my son for many many years,but I hanged on for the love of my parents.Then the Court issued an injunction order preventing me from bringing my son home to my parents,my mothers vision was slowly deterioarting, alleging that I am not bringing my son back to the US.While the psychopath abducted him from me for 3 months ,I have to hire a PI to find him & here is the Court turn around accusing me of abducting him. I want to kill the Judge.But again my father hold me so closely not shed my hands with their murky blood of injustice.I hold on to them. Then I petitioned the Court to allow my son to visit my dying parents but was denied over & over. My rage build up until my my Dad died & nothing seems to matter anymore.I have no desire to live anymore.Look at our veterans,they gave their lives for the country but most of them are on the streets.The lethal injection is the best way to go,no pain & get even with the jackass at the same time.The pain & cruelty they injected me & my son is irreparable.Worst of all my parents never get a chance to hug their only grandson.The end justify the means. I don't wanna waste my life without getting for the justice my family deserves.I'll toast the jackass. Violence begets violence. There will be no tyrannts if there are no slaves. The Freedom to bear arms will bring us to the middle ground.Pacifists that has no balls.
    I have refilled all my RX today & was staring at them all afternoon ,I thought if I gotta go someone have to come with me.It is not random, you owe life,you pay life.Isn't it fair?
  2. jeffrey1

    jeffrey1 Member

    Im sorry to hear of your struggles, Ive lost many people i care about . I hope things get better for you, remember your child when you feel down.
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