That's the way I feel right now. Maybe things would be different if I hadn't screwed my life up so bad and thrown away nearly every good opportunity that was presented to me. I mean a few years ago I would never have imagined things could turn out the way they did. But I'm not really even depressed about it anymore. It's almost a relief to me that I feel like I'm fully capable of taking my life now. I hate to sound all emo about it, but freeing myself from this bullshit sounds more appealing to me every day.