Being a workaholic to cope?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheBLA, Dec 26, 2011.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Who feels like they have become or will become a workaholic in the future to cope with their depression or any other mental problems? Its commonly said that keeping yourself busy helps to alleviate the symptoms of depression.
    I feel like I may have to work in order to keep myself sane and alive, away from killing myself. I especially feel this way when I eventually move out of my parent's home away from my family and am completely alone.

    I know it sounds sad, since many people crave for vacations and the weekends. I feel its just time to realize that I have no social life, no love life, etc. nothing to do at all but just stew in my misery. I'm even finding video games now to become a chore and a burden. Since that's something I really enjoy and have become obsessed and addicted with. Its the reason why my life is so crappy, empty and meaningless. I think my situation is getting pretty bad though when I find even that hobby to be dull!

    You'd think with free time, you'd find time to do other stuff, like watching movies, learning a new skill, getting into a new hobby, etc. But my depression keeps me from doing that. But work is something that I'm required to do, and I feel that I'd work even if I don't need the money, but just to keep myself occupied, when everyone else is truly enjoying their free time away from work. I'm always so different from everybody, so opposite.

    I feel excited right when a weekend or holiday is about to come up. For instance, I'll get happy that its Friday, but when its Saturday and Sunday, I feel quite down and depressed.

    I got this Monday and Tuesday off due to the Christmas holiday. I was so excited last Friday that I was going to have a 4-day weekend but now wish I had gone to work today and could go also to work tomorrow.

    Anyone else feel the same as I do?
     
  2. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    Given all that at least you'll be financially okay!
     
  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Haha, yeah, you have a higher chance of being financially secure. But what's the use when you are miserable on the inside? Its no fruitful and meaningful life to just work and then come home and sleep is it? Yet I feel that's why my life is going to delve down to. I probably will never have friends, a girlfriend, wife, children, etc. So I'll only have work to keep myself preoccupied and busy, to keep myself from being overwhelmed with sadness and misery and despair. I wonder if there are other workaholics who also work for that same reason?
     
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Yes. Pile on the hours, volunteer for overtime, agree to take on any extra shift available, take on freelance work in additional to my full time job etc. all in the name of distraction.

    Now, about the idea that this is a "helpful" thing to do for depression, I am not sure. Particularly when talking about major depression. I do this to shield myself from my own thoughts. To make myself so busy and so distracted that I have no time to think about my feelings. The problem with this is that inevitably there will be the weekend when you have nothing to do, your hobbies no longer stimulate you (depression), and it all comes crashing back in. This is a concern for me this week as my office is closed for the holidays until next Monday and I am here at the apartment hoping my meds do their job.

    I don't know what to say to help. I just wanted to post here to say I understand, Rahul. You are not alone.
     
  5. Slothbear

    Slothbear Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. Although im also scared of having a breakdown from working too much.
     
  6. stormfront

    stormfront Member

    How about maybe you just like to work? I actually feel very unproductive if I work less than 50 hours a week. My parents both were like that, so its probably a weird genetic thing. But I enjoy it. Sure, it keeps the depression at bay, but so what? If its good therapy for you, who cares? Maybe its just what the doc ordered. Besides, I know too many people who STOPPED working and died shortly after they retired.

    And be careful what you say there - I met my wife at work. I felt like no one wanted me, I was doomed to be a lonely soul and who would want to even give me the time of day. Just when I wasn't looking, I met her. BAM - dated, love, marriage, kids. My life is too hectic now to even think about depression. And if it does appear, something else usually happens to snap me back into reality and out of the depressive fog.

    You've got nowhere to go but up from here.
     
  7. Caster

    Caster Well-Known Member

    I can more than relate to this. You're far from alone. I don't think it's a good way to try to "deal" with depression, but it helped push away the sadness and gave me something to feel pride in. I couldn't help but bury myself in work and it just sort of happened and I don't think I even realized or wanted to admit I was depressed at the time. I was always told that I couldn't be depressed because of how hard I worked in school and with a part time business I had. For me, as long as I wasn't severely depressed, I was ok.

    Hang in there:).
     
  8. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I don't know why it took me so long to reply to my own thread, haha.

    Actually, I don't think I really enjoying working, that I get pleasure out of it. I would rather spend all the time I have just lounging about, doing "nothing". By that, I mean just watching TV, playing video-games, etc where I actually get some pleasure.

    But even now, it seems my depression is getting stronger where I am enjoying those activities less. I know my depression is getting very bad when I derive less enjoyment than before from video-games especially! : 0

    I am quite positive that I will never have a girlfriend, wife, kids, probably no friends, etc. My life will almost certainly continue to stay extremely boring, empty and meaningless. That is why I feel that I will have to become a workaholic in the future just to keep me from killing myself. Right now, I don't think I'm "truly" a workaholic, where I need to work to feel good about myself or useful. I just feel that I'd rather keep working overtime than come home to a completely empty apartment and just sit there all alone and cry miserably into the night and then later cry myself to sleep. I know I'm putting things into very "black and white" mode here. Either work like crazy, or kill myself out of depression and desperation. Where's the middle ground here? Haha! Overwork can be quite unhealthy as well as being completely lonely and depressed which I probably will be.

    Recently, I have been very much loathing the weekends. Its funny how I always look forward to it on Fridays, where I feel just slightly happier on that day. But come Saturday afternoon, I feel quite miserable and can't wait to go back to work on Monday to keep myself occupied and stop me from reminding myself of how much of a pathetic loser I am. If that is the case already, then I'm quite sure I will have to get a second job in the near future. I'll be even worse off than now if I move out of my parent's home and don't have my parents and little brother to keep me company and then I'd truly be all alone in some tiny apartment.

    I feel worse that the weekends are something to look forward to and that people use to unwind and relax from the stressful work-week. They go out with their friends and loved ones to clubbing, movies, the zoo, restaurants, shopping etc. Hell, I bet even the people without friends and family like me enjoy it more than I do. Whereas I simply look at it as always a temporary prison sentence of torture to go through before I'm set "free" again when the work-week starts again and so the cycle keeps rinsing and repeating. Oh God, how pathetic am I? Why do I always have to be so different and the literal opposite of everyone else!?

    I know I could probably spend my idle time doing something else, like getting another hobby or something. I don't know why that hasn't crossed my mind yet and only the thought of working overtime or getting another job has. Its amazing how crippling depression can be. Just today this Saturday, I took a three hour nap (and still wanted to sleep more! and have been doing this for the past few weekends at least) because I didn't want to get up and face the fact that I have nothing to look forward to this weekend or really for the rest of my life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 18, 2012
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