Being alone for the rest of my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by David, Sep 22, 2006.

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  1. David

    David Active Member

    It's a fear which I think is not far from realising.

    I find it so hard to form relationships with people since I was young, and it was made worsen after the depression got out of hand.

    The love of my life is very determined to leave me now and I am totally shattered. For the past few times when they happened, I had successfully convinced to do otherwise but this time...

    My heart feels like it has been punched and torn a million times.

    I don't think anyone else on the face of this planet can put up with me. I don't have close friends, and person whom I love most and has spent the past seven years with wants to leave me so badly because I have severe emotional problems.

    Being alone for the rest of my life.

    I wish I can take my own life, but let me wait until my folks are gone. I shall just have to put up with life for another... 10 years maybe.
  2. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    Hi David,

    I can't help much, i feel similar, never find way to form relationships with other people, most time spending alone and i'm afraid its gona be this way for rest of my life. I just want let you know youre not only one who feel this way.
    I guess this reply is useless, anyway if you want you can PM me anytime.
  3. Jenova

    Jenova Well-Known Member

    What is wrong with being alone? If you're ok with yourself then it doesn't matter. That's the real problem, not that you lost your love. It's that you think you need them, you fear being alone. You can't really love someone with your whole heart if you can't love yourself first. Everyone feels lonely sometimes and that's normal. It's not ok to feel like you need someone else to make you happy. Until you deal with THAT issue you won't be ready to be with anyone.

    I'm not trying to be harsh, or make you feel worse. Infact I can tell you right now that there is a lot of hope. It's not easy but you can get to a place where you don't mind being single. It can even be really fun. It gives you a chance to find out who you are as a person as opposed to who you are in a relationship. This is a really good chance to grow emotionally, it just takes time to be able to appreciate it.

    When I said that your love leaving you isn't the real issue, I didn't mean to say that it's not important. Break ups are hard, especially when you've been with someone for a long time. Time can mend your wounds but it won't happen over night. I'm sure right now you feel horrible, sad and just wondering WHY. Why did this have to happen, why am I like this? It's normal to ask these questions but try not to obsess too much about the answers. Some things don't have any answer. It will get better.

    Remember that you are human like the rest of us and you're not alone in your struggles. I hope you can find the support you need here (or from other sources as well) to get you through.

    Hang in there and feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

    Best wishes,
  4. joce

    joce Active Member

    Hi David
    Sorry to hear about your relationship breaking up - it must really hurt. I'm in my 50's and have never had a proper relationship. My life has been that of a hermit really, but one thing I have had is freedom. I don't cry over anyone, I don't have to keep up a sparkling conversation, I don't have to think of anyone else. I don't see anything wrong with being selfish and just doing what you want. It might just be a question of adapting to being alone - who knows you might get to like it. We all have our dreams about meeting our soul mate but some of us are just meant to be lone wolves, prowling this planet on our ownsome. I don't feel you will be alone for ever, but I just wanted to you know that I do care.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You know I am really wondering if the saying "It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" is true.

    But yeah I am going to Die alone as well I have gotten used to that fact. It will take some getting used to but once you get used to it life will be easier to deal with.
  6. Kinetic

    Kinetic Well-Known Member

    Hi David!
    I know what you mean, I just said goodbye to someone that I love not so long ago and it helped increasing my sadness.
    I still have some hope that I will see that person again but probably it will never work out between us and it hurts, because that person was a big relief for me.

    I guess people just have to move on, don't lose your hope I know its hard but try to, I'm trying...
  7. NewWaveGoddess89

    NewWaveGoddess89 New Member


    I'm sorry to hear things are going so roughly for you. But if you want to believe me or not I truely know how you feel right now. I'm so f****ing scared of being alone for the rest of my life. I can't take care of myself, and I can't function in a normal society. People scare me, yet I long to be with someone, but I don't want to go out and swim in an ocean of strangers to find them. I can't get a job because I have anxiety issues and I don't want to talk to people I don't know. Whenever I graduate (if I'm still alive by then) in June I guess I'm just going to go to a community college or something, but doing that is going to be hard on me too. I never want to move out of my house, even though I hate my family, I can't live alone. I can't do this by myself and I need a lover to hold my hand the rest of the way through. If you want to know some more detail about what's been going on you can read my post entitled "New here... and severely depressed". Maybe you can relate a little. Please, if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me.
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