being an asshole makes love complicated...

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KimKim

Well-Known Member
#1
my relationship is a ruin. i apologized for all the shit i did but somehow my partner doesn´t let me see his true face anymore. it´s confusing....i know i´m a mean person...i´m rude and unkind, loveless and selfish...but i always tell him how much i love and need him....
i lied, i cheated...but i always told him the truth in the end...
but there must be something that keeps him holding me on distance.
You can´t imagen how that tears me down .__.'
i guess i will take the next train and walk half an hour to his place...and ask him what the fuck is going on in his head that he treats me so bad. he doesn´t want me to come around for new years eve! O.o
that made me so mad...he acts like he doesn´t want me anymore...but at the same time he does not dare to just make a cut and leave me....
als this worrying if he´s probably to hurt by all the stuff i did to ever trust me again and....MAN! >.<
he´s all that i have...the only person who ever at least tried to bear me....he was the one who took care of me when i slit my wrist...or who drove me home when i missed the last train...he can´t leave me alone now! >.<
yesterday i was about take a bread knife...but today i think i just tell him how serious this all is to me...
i guess nobody can see how dramatic that is XD
however...i have to get ready..don´t wanna miss the train...
 
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