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Being in Love


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A great fondness, sexual attraction.

To me and him. A feeling. Sad to not be together. He lives his life. I'm happy to be in my own space. I dream.


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Friends since children, the need to hug him and just be near him. The heart wants what it wants even though it doesn't make sense. Glad I can turn my feelings off at times. Its hard to do.


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Connected, happy. Uncertain. Missing his mother. Invited to go see a friends play. Am I making a mistake? I know why I left.


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Comes in stages. If theres no progression, then it's time to move on. Why do I feel so angry? I can only be mad at myself. Not once did he ever apologize for anything or ever say thank you or how do you feel. This is the smartest in the class? I think not.


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Just missing him. Reconnecting through a simple text is such pleasure. When I try so hard to make it work with the person I'm with. It's not a good fit. Circumstances keep us apart. I miss kissing him. Doing simple things with him. It's sad to plan a future with another when it feels wrong.


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It hurts. We cant choose how our heart feels. But I have to choose to make sense of it. I was hurt yesterday. Why do I pick men that ignore me? I should not be surprised when by a blasei attitude when I keep leaving. Truth is, he's an opportunist, even a dear friend said, hes sneaky or a hustler, nothing sacred. He communicates by song. Yes, I know he fell in love with me. His sisters and mother wish me with him. But I have to look at the big picture.

His response yesterday made me break down and I deserve better. I know this. He should know that for me I dont have the house where we used to live and the scattered family while his is in tact. My family's estranged. I cared for my mother. He just really doesn't care. Fuck him. I'd rather be mad than upset. So why do I cry over this one? I dont get it.

I have strangers who pay me more attention. I've given as much effort and gifts and tried to communicate as I can, but I'm shut down. Maybe these are tears of frustration. He is untouchable. I'm drawn to his eyes. I thought we were a perfect match. I need to move on.
Sorry Lane - maybe 🤔 you could sit down and have a heart to heart with him? And try to express your feelings in a way that verbalizes the deep disconnect that you feel is between you. If he doesn’t listen, or doesn’t care to listen, then maybe it’s time to consider other options: alternative ones that might bring you better results on the happiness front? :^) here’s wishing you well— good luck 🍀


🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
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@Lane my heart goes out to you as we can't really control our hearts despite what our minds may acknowledge if that makes any sense...I agree with @MisterBGone about trying to talk to him as maybe he isn't aware of the impact of his actions/words are having on you ...sending you lots and lots of hugs


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A song still brings my thoughts back to him. Now, my 2 friends from childhood dont like him for me, my niece/my heart hates him and daughter dislikes him. He's never done anything to them, it's my disappoint I guess. I say he's allowed to live his life as he wants. I'm guilty because I let it go on for too long without requiring my needs to be met, I knew, I hoped though.

This new guy, hes said thank you more in 3 dates than other one in 2 plus years. And I like him. Hes honest, hardworking, handsome.

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