Being shy led to rejection

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twilight, Jul 27, 2009.

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  1. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    This guy was telling me how me being shy made him feel very frustrated and how it was part of the reason he decided to see someone else. I wish he would have talked to me about this earlier. It seems like this thing is always ruining my life. It just makes me feel even more hopeless and like I want to kill myself.
     
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    heya ..
    being shy isnt such a bad quality .. i can be quite shy sometimes aswel .. i know i would rather be a little reserved than really loud and 'in ur face' .. people like that can be really horrible .. and if anything put ppl off talking 2 u-more than if u are shy ..
    sorry things didnt work out with this guy .. i know its hard but try not 2 take this personally .. no1 especially a guy like that is worth taking ur life because of ..
    :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey this guy obviously was not the right one for you as all he cares about is himself. You need someone who can respect who you are personality wise as well. Find someone more sensitive and with your interest being shy i feel has its good qualities as well. We are great listeners.
     
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I am pretty shy myself... If the guy doesn't accept you for who you are he isn't worth it. :hug: Never change yourself for someone else.. especially not a guy.
    If it's something that's hindering you, there's lots of ways to bring yourself out of your shell. Some sites (1) (2) you might be interested in. :)
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm shy also.. I am a 6'3", 300 lb. guy and I am shy and a pacifist..People have picked on me all my life because of this..They would constantly try getting me in fights..I feel no shame in being this way.. In my book it is a good trait..
     
  6. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    There's nothing wrong with being why, I'm shy too and have found someone who loves me for who I am, just like you will. Not everyone will feel uncomfortable with you being shy, and you shouldn't feel you need to change who you are for someone else. Hang in there, things will work out.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm also very shy,its good sometimes lol! A lot of people like it.
    You will find someone who likes you for you, don't give up :)
     
  8. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Sorry to hear that, it sounds cliche but in the long run you are better off not being with someone who dosen't accept you. Also on the bright side at least you were able to get to the point where someone knew you liked them, because you were brave enough to let them know, that is a lot farther then some people get and it will help you become more outgoing. So even though it hurts now try to cheer up.
     
  9. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    first of all, as a guy myself, if that guy cant understand and learn to be compassionate and learn to earn furthering his realationship with you, then you dont need him.

    dont allow yourself to let some jerk justify YOU.

    when the time comes, you will find the right person for you and you will know it. dont just go for something just to have it.
    dont let yourself be broken by some jerk that isnt comfortable not getting what he wants out of you. you ar e ahumanbeing and if he dont like the way things progress ... its his loss.

    keep moving on.

    odiecom
     
  10. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    I always find it funny how you'll always get a whole different set of responses to this problem depending on the gender of the OP.

    Shyness is such a broad term and a few I've known to use the term to describe themselves are about as shy as a bull in a china shop. If you're shy to the point where you can't connect with someone or you're with someone who is very outgoing, then yeah, it's going to be a problem. If it is that bad(and I'm not assuming that it is), then there's nothing wrong with breaking up with anyone you either a) can't get close to or b) are two entirely different people.

    When it comes down to it, if you think this is a problem for you, then work hard to solve it. If you want things to improve, then you've got to realise that you're not hopeless or helpless. Shyness isnt a fixed state of being that you can never change or improve upon, nor an integral part of yourself.

    Philip Zimbardo has a pretty good book on shyness. If you get rid of the mumbo jumbo, some of the law of attraction stuff can help too, as can any work on improving self esteem.
     
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