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Being Single

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Dante Wrath

Member
#1
#1
Does anyone else here ever get depressed just because you are single...
To be honest i personaly just misshaving someone to kiss and stuff...
Infact i got so desperate the other day that i made out with a male friend of mine... And it actually helped...
This is not a thread about me questioning my sexuality i just wondering if anyone else feels depressed when they are single and if there reasons are similar or not.
 
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Panther

Well-Known Member
#2
#2
Dante Wrath said:
Does anyone else here ever get depressed just because you are single...
To be honest i personaly just misshaving someone to kiss and stuff...
Infact i got so desperate the other day that i made out with a male friend of mine... And it actually helped...
This is not a thread about me questioning my sexuality i just wondering if anyone else feels depressed when they are single and if there reasons are similar or not.
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it used to be hard at times. Gets a lot easier with age. Don't know how old you are, but once you get older it does sink in that being single is not a disease .. and remember of course that there are plenty of people who are trapped in unhappy relationships.
 
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aqaq22

Well-Known Member
#3
#3
My wife of 15 years left me a 15 mos. ago. She's now married to the guy she was seeing behind my back.

I still dream about her every night. I have now for over a year. It sucks. I'm 49 years old. Depending on the Dr. you asked, you'd find that I have every know psychological disorder known to man. Don't think I'll be gettin' laid anytime soon.

I'm sure I"m not like most posters here, so don't' worry about being like me. But, I liked being married. I like having company and sex. Much more than being alienated and isolated.

Sorry for the negativity...

good luck
 
B

Blackness

#4
#4
ofcourse havent we all. We start asking "whats wrong with me?" "why cant i find anyone?". Some people think that having a partner will solve all their problems, and this is not true, sometimes they may cause more than before or make things worse. But we all need some love and without it life can be pretty miserable.
 
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flowerpot

Well-Known Member
#6
#6
yes.. all the time.. all my "friends" talk to me about their relationship problems when ive barely even had a partner.. they dont notice how alone i am and gah it sucks
 
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Dante Wrath

Member
#7
#7
flowerpot said:
yes.. all the time.. all my "friends" talk to me about their relationship problems when ive barely even had a partner.. they dont notice how alone i am and gah it sucks
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I hate that... i try to be there for my friends but its hard when u sorta wish u were in a relationship to be having problems with.
 
L

Lead Savior

Well-Known Member
#8
#8
I do not think being single is contributing to my depression, but a relationship may be something that could improve my demeanor.


Singledom does have its pros, though! If I want to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing, I can do it without feeling obligated to partake in some activity with a significant other.
 
C

CRUSHED

Well-Known Member
#9
#9
Yes, being single is bad, for me speaking.

I need a partner to feel secure and happy.
I need someone to complete me.
I need someone to love and take care of.
I need someone to love and take care of me.
I need a soul mate to fill up that missing part inside me.
I’m afraid of dieing alone.

I guess it all comes to your reasons. What do you really want?
 
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baofu

Active Member
#10
#10
You first have to become your own partner, then when you know you arent afraid to be alone, you are secure enough to find a partner who you really wanna be.
Otherwise you'd really be ruled over by fear.
 
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sudut

Well-Known Member
#11
#11
"...and remember of course that there are plenty of people who are trapped in unhappy relationships....."

Be grateful in your position. you are not missing much. don't judge a book by its cover. no one can bring you happiness. its a state of mind.
 
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aqaq22

Well-Known Member
#12
#12
^^^I just have one question about your advertisement for Steve Parvlina's

"Personal development for Smart People" Website.

Are people that are not smart........hopeless?

Thanks
 
S

sudut

Well-Known Member
#13
#13
aqaq22 said:
My wife of 15 years left me a 15 mos. ago. She's now married to the guy she was seeing behind my back.

I still dream about her every night. I have now for over a year. It sucks. I'm 49 years old. Depending on the Dr. you asked, you'd find that I have every know psychological disorder known to man. Don't think I'll be gettin' laid anytime soon.

I'm sure I"m not like most posters here, so don't' worry about being like me. But, I liked being married. I like having company and sex. Much more than being alienated and isolated.

Sorry for the negativity...

good luck
Click to expand...
Everything works out for good in the end. its all planned. Who knows, maybe you were not meant to be together. Ask Divine intelligence for what you want and go out there to help other hurting people. then watch what will happen.
 
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~PinkElephants~

Senior member
#14
#14
Dante
I miss the hugs and the touches. I miss having someone to call my own so i know how you are feeling. But please know that having a relationship isn't the resolution to everything. :hug:
 
G

ggg456

#15
#15
I've had my fair share of experiences being in relationships that were either extremely abusive/or just depressing when it comes to connecting/communicating and it does tear you apart. But at least I've learnt a lot from them..

You first have to become your own partner, then when you know you arent afraid to be alone, you are secure enough to find a partner who you really wanna be.
Otherwise you'd really be ruled over by fear.
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I agree with this. I'm starting to be my 'best friend' and to learn a lot about myself and how I deal with things, it's kind of nice- and I'm able to deal with other people much better too, (I think), slowly. I go through a lot of self reflection when I'm not overcome by my memories and pain, so everything I do, I always step back and try and look at the situation from afar. I've always been wanting to know how I work, so I try and not hurt anybody else (which is my top priority) and try to stay out of huge explosive situations where I'm blowing up and hurting other people. Because I hate it when I hurt people and they start crying.. and then I start crying and it's just all a sobbing mess :sad: and then the usual painful kiss and make up and I don't want the crying/pain stuff too often as that hurts a lot, but it's inevitable to be hurt in a relationship I suppose...
 
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D

Dante Wrath

Member
#16
#16
Lead Savior said:
I do not think being single is contributing to my depression, but a relationship may be something that could improve my demeanor.


Singledom does have its pros, though! If I want to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing, I can do it without feeling obligated to partake in some activity with a significant other.
Click to expand...
I take that exact thing as a con tho, when i am single i don't do anything that i don't want to full heartedly, meaning i do very little outside my room... Sorta like i'm wasting my life but i don't have enougth self motivation to go out and whatnot when i'm single.
 
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aqaq22

Well-Known Member
#17
#17
Dante Wrath said:
I take that exact thing as a con tho, when i am single i don't do anything that i don't want to full heartedly, meaning i do very little outside my room... Sorta like i'm wasting my life but i don't have enougth self motivation to go out and whatnot when i'm single.
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good grief man, when my wife left, I sold my business. Why put that kind of stress on myself? I got nobody to be responsible for but me. I've got more than enough to not do $hite.
 
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Anonymous2

Well-Known Member
#18
#18
flowerpot said:
yes.. all the time.. all my "friends" talk to me about their relationship problems when ive barely even had a partner.. they dont notice how alone i am and gah it sucks
Click to expand...
Yea, I hate that too. All my acquaintances at work have a wife/girlfriend, children, and friends. I have no wife, no children, and no friends. Whenever I’m at work, they talk about their significant others and their children. During these conversations, I often want to cry. It hurts to hear about all the great things in life I never have and never will experience.
 
fromthatshow

fromthatshow

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#19
#19
I always need to have a girlfriend. I am so scared of being alone. And it's so bad because I get a month into it and realize I'm more scared of being alone than wanting to be with that person. But it never stops. Like a drug.
:(
 
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Aurora Gory Alice

Well-Known Member
#20
#20
I get what you're saying here, I'm one of those people that always likes having someone around but doesn't always get the opportunity, which once upon a time resulted in me becoming really promiscuous.
But I think that need to constantly be with somebody is pretty damaging. It says you are uncomfortable being alone, you can form an unhealthy dependancy on someone else (which is NOT how a relationship is supposed to be) and then when it ends... then what?

You become sucidal? Like I have seen many people on her become after failed relationships?

I honestly do think if you aren't completely stable, it is safer to stay away from love and relationships until you are in a better place. Unless you are sure enough in the knowledge that you can form a companionship with someone where you do not become overly reliant on them for your sanity.
That debilitating feeling of loneliness gets me too, but I think it's safer to look to friends to resolve that issue. If you want to go out and have a few drunken make out sessions - by all means go for it! As long as it isn't damaging to you in any way there's no shame in it.
 
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