Being Suicidal - The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by fromthatshow, May 28, 2008.

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  1. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Alright so I was posting in another thread, and thought I would start a new one, becuase I felt what I was saying deserved it's own thread.
    I think having been suicidal, it is the best thing that ever happened to me. Before that, I was kind of just floating through life. I wasn't sad, but I wasn't really happy. I was going through the motions like everyone else. I viewed the world how you were supposed to view the world. How my parents, the news, my teachers said to view the world.
    I started feeling depressed, hopeless. Hopelessness in my life and with the world. I almost was close to killing myself a couple times. Jumping. Crashing the car. I never attempted suicide. I always felt if I was gone, I was gone, there was no maybes. Despite the fact that I don't want to wake up, every morning I do :laugh:. After a while you stop caring. Not about people, but about how you're supposed to view things that have happened to the world and to you. I stopped listening to all those around me and started listening to myself.
    Once you've hit bottom, you have no where to go but up. You can create and entirely new life for youself, not the ones your parents or society wanted you to have. You start to appreciate life and find love in everything and everyone around you. This is something that never would have happened had I not have been feeling, and still feeling suicidal. Through hell is the only way to get to heaven I think. I'm not sure why I went through this all, but I know that however bad I'm suffering, the love and connections I've been feeling are so worth it, and it is far better than the way things were before.
    I don't think it is possible to skip this phase. If we are content we will not change. Just know the other side of this is far more beautiful then what those who have not hit bottom or refuse to hit bottom will ever experience. Well I shouldn't say ever, they'll have to at some point.
    Hope that made some sense.
    With all my love,
  2. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    good on you spencer for seeing the light that can shine through darkness.

    the relief to feel that you don't have to live up to your parents or society, would be a heavy load off your shoulder.

    pre-suicidal, can be the ultimate turning point for some when all the noise around is quieten down and hearing what is really inside

    good luck on your renewed journey
  3. Casey.

    Casey. Well-Known Member

    I agree with you so much. I never really thought about it that way before. Sure, I've heard the saying "you have to feel true sadness to feel true hapiness" but I never looked at it like this. Thanks :)
  4. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    that was a really good way to view the things
    but you are damn right :'D
    except that for me i kinna not sure what i want myself xD
  5. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    This is such a beautiful post :hug:
  6. Broken_Heart

    Broken_Heart Active Member

    i really like how you said that. reading it made me realize that im the same way as you. being suicidal kept me alive because now I actually have emotions.
  7. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i really like what you said
    i also have emotions now, more than before
    when all i wanted to be was popular..once i hit depression and being suicidal,
    all that i wanted to do was give up.
    but when you only have one emotion to worry about - sadness,
    you start thinking about other things now.
    i said i wanted to be popular, now i spit at those kids.
    i know that going down means that youll come back up
    everyone whose suicidal on this site, youll all come back up
    if you die in the process..well i dont know what to say about that
    but you really get to thinking more.
    if there is a God out there, then i know that this is what he wanted us to do.
    we must travel the path of God, and if we get down along the way, then
    thats what He wanted us to do. i dont think that God intended
    for us to all be clones of one-another, and if thats all you want to do,
    then youll be punished in the end. i think, also, that suicidal people
    care more than the average bunch. both my best friends are suicidal
    and their good listeners, too. i think that we're the ones who are
    following the right path of God.

    popular clones will have their downfall when they grow older.
    suicidal kids already have to make big decissions, when you
    should cut, od, and try to die. sure ,their not the best decissions,
    but their still out there. we think things through more. when the
    popular clones get out into the "real world", their going to be
    more screwed than most of us are now [you know you're
    screwed up, admit it]. we're going to have it easier in life
    because we can think things through now

    i hope that makes sense! :)
  8. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    You are fucking crazy, nothing is worth this.
  9. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    It's nice that you can have such a positive out-look on your struggles. I hope you get better and better until everything works itself out. Good luck on your journey in life, Spencer. :hug:
  10. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    Your post really touched me. [​IMG]

    Best Wishes~
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