I know what I need. I need to be thankful for everything that has happened so far in my life. It is so easy for me to get wrapped up in my problems and forget that I should be thankful for so many things. I don't know how I even made it this far. I've made so many mistakes, I pushed away everyone who cared about me, I did everything I could to sabotage my life. Because I felt I was unworthy. Because I felt I didn't deserve to live. I shouldn't even be here right now. Every morning I open my eyes is another day which I am fortunate to be alive. It is a blessing to have all my limbs. It is a blessing to have been in relatively good physical health all these years. It is a blessing to have a roof over my head. It is a blessing to have food on the table every day. It is a blessing to have a caring family. It is a blessing to be able to get an education. It is a blessing to have technology and all the comforts of life that I get each day. It is a blessing to even have an opportunity at turning my life around, considering how much I have sabotaged myself. That's enough. I don't need anything more. I'm sorry for being so ungrateful, I don't even know if I deserve half of these things. I should be thanking the stars every night. Even if I am suffering inside, even if I do struggle with finding peace in my life, I have to remember how fortunate I am to even be alive, let alone have all those blessings. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and life could be taken from me at any time. What use would my life have been if I had spent it being ungrateful? There are so many people who would have loved to be in my position. There are so many genuinely good people who have never gotten and may never get the opportunities I got, who have been much less fortunate than I have been. How many people have lost their limbs in war? How many people have had to deal with a life threatening disease or born with disability? How many people are starving on the streets not knowing when their next meal will come? How many people have grown up in broken families? How many people cannot afford an education? How many people cannot afford the luxury of modern technology the phones, the internet, etc.? How many people have never got any second chances? I'm guessing most of those people didn't deserve to get the short end of the stick any more than if I should have. I could have easily been those people. But they despite their difficulties still try to make the most of their lives. So there is no reason for me to be bitter and sad. I should have nothing to lose, because I should be thankful just to be here. This way everything is a gift, anything I get is gravy. There is no reason to envy others who have more, or hate on myself because I am not as successful as someone else. There is no reason to complain when things go bad. Because at the end of the day, I never should have been here.