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Being Wrongly Accused and Ruining My Future

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by TheGift, Jul 14, 2012.

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  1. TheGift

    TheGift Active Member

    Hi, guys... I'm back again. Fortunately, I have already overcome my bad eating behavior and depression from abuse. However, I'm coming back with another issue...

    It's 3:08 in the afternoon, Saturday, and I haven't done anything for school... I am in my senior year already and have a lot of stuff due next week, especially my requirements for my different university applications. I've been depressed about something that has happened concerning school and don't have the concentration or motivation to do anything anymore... Senior year is the most important year for everyone and I know I should be doing my best, but I already have--until this problem showed up...

    Look, I'll be honest. I've been a very good student since grade school. I had my bad days when I got into trouble a lot in school, but I've changed when I stepped into high school. I want to get into a good university. I do my best in everything already. Heck, my average in school is 98%. But of all people, why did this have to happen to me--and it happened all because of the stupidity of another person. As usual, I have been wrongly accused.

    I am being accused of cheating or bullying, or even both. It really hurts the most to be accused of cheating, because of the impact it can make to the reputation of a really good student. And what's more? I got accused in my senior--incoming college...

    I have also done my own reflection on what could possibly caused my teachers to accuse me of such. I have gone through so much problems in life that I have learned to be observant of everything. That is, examine my life. With that said, I have put myself in the situation of teachers and obviously, it will look like I cheated. Likewise, if you were in my situation--even though you put a real-time surveillance through the whole event, it will show you that I did not intend to cheat. Let's just put it that, there are three possible things I could have done with my paperwork, which my teachers think I cheated with. I could have submitted it, which was expected of me; thrown it, which is also accepted if I did not want to submit it and make another one; or keep it, which is considered cheating. I kept my paperwork, yes, but I did not intend to cheat but another way to dispose of it. Also, I could not throw is to dispose it as another of my paperwork was printed on it. That paperwork of mine is a draft. It would have been okay to keep it if it was a draft. The problem is my teacher think it's not my draft, but my official work already. That's where the problem and accusation come in.

    Now, you might be wondering when does the second party come in. Before those happened, a batchmate of mine stole my seat of which I was going to work on. She did not budge and even made it seem like I am the one trying to get the seat from her. This got all my teacher's attention, of course. That's when they started checking my every move, which led to them to speculate that I am cheating with my paperwork.

    I have already submitted an "incident report" to my teachers and I was told that the principal will talk to me about this next week. This will be included of course in my college application forms.

    Actually, I have mixed emotions on this. The philosophy that I recently lived by and helped me go through my eating and abuse depression would tell me to just accept it and be happy. But my friends (I have a lot of witnesses and everyone knows I did not do anything malicious) that--knowing me--they don't think I'm truly happy. They say, I'm just hiding everything down and covering it up with fake acceptance and happiness. Also, according to them, I should fight for it as it will affect my future--going into a good university...

    So... I don't know what to do anymore... Sometimes, my depressed self comes back and gives me fantasies of me committing murder like creating an explosion in one of the classrooms and faculty. I have so many fantasies now of killing that batchmate of mine and the teachers who just ruined my future. Also, they ruined my reputation and credibility as a good student. I don't know what to do... This has been bothering me since last week and I haven't been doing good with my work either because of the growing depression. Any advice/help from you guys will be much appreciated.

    Thanks for listening...
  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Let me just first say that I am very sorry about your situation, it sounds very awkward for you. I personally screwed up my own chances at a university education because of my issues with depression. I was smart enough, but my grades did not reflect that due to my lack of motivation. So instead, I ended up attending community college until I eventually dropped out, also mainly due to depression. I've had a hard time accomplishing a lot of things in life because of my depression... gave up on a lot of my dreams, and now I'm a middle class blue collar worker instead. But you know what? That's okay. I know I could always go back to school if I wanted to, it's never too late for that. I always thought I would go to university straight out of high school though, and I was devastated when things didn't work out that way. But I eventually got over it.

    What's my point? No, I'm not suggesting that you should just accept your fate. Of course you should fight for the truth, no matter what. It doesn't matter if nobody believes you, it doesn't matter if you lose your case, the truth is still the truth, and you should never, ever confess to something that you didn't do. I hate being called a liar when I'm telling the truth, or being accused of doing something that I didn't do... absolutely hate it. Few things make me so mad as having my integrity being called into question when I am, in fact, being 100% honest. It's funny that nobody ever calls me out on my lies, but when I tell the truth, people want to question it.

    Anyway... yes, I'll confess, as someone who was bullied and socially isolated for many years in school, I too had fantasies about pulling a "Columbine". I know that sounds horrible, and it is. But I know what it's like to feel like everybody is against you, to feel like nobody cares about you, and it can be infuriating. There were many times in school when I thought that my so-called peers were cold, heartless pricks who didn't deserve to live anyway, for all the callous cruelty they had inflicted upon me. But that is dangerous thinking, even if it is partially true. There are a lot of assholes in the world, I won't deny that. And life isn't fair, I won't deny that either. But the answer is not to lash out at the world, nor is it to take your own life. The answer is to stand up for yourself and to never back down, and to accept that sometimes life will hand you a raw deal in spite of your best efforts. You have to fight for what you know is right, and if you fail, all you can do is pick up the pieces and move on, and do the best you can with what you've got. There is some wisdom to your philosophy of accepting your fate, but at the same time, your friends are right in saying that you should stand up for yourself if you know in your heart that you did nothing wrong. Accepting your fate does not mean taking the blame for things that you did not do, it simply means accepting the fact that sometimes life will work against you and that people will blame you for things that you didn't do, but you should never, ever recant the truth. If you know that you're innocent, then stick to your story. If they don't believe you, then they are the ones in the wrong, and at the very least, you will still have your integrity. Because at the end of the day, it's not what others think of us, it's what we think of ourselves that matters most.
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