Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered291, Aug 6, 2007.

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  1. I don't think I belong here any more. A friend told me yesterday that I should leave and cut down on my stress but I am too scared to leave in case someone 'needs' me, but then no one ever does. I both do and don't want to leave - to walk away and just quit all of it, like I have been doing in chat so often lately - just not in the mood - I feel left out quite a lot, but at the same time, I want to stay because this is the only place that I have ever felt that I did belong, at some point.

    So stupid. I don't know how to feel any more. I was smiling earlier, but I have so much to do. I know I'm bringing it all on myself, but that doesn't make it any easier. Yesterday I was so damn tired, I didn't go to bed until 5am, got up at 1pm and then fell asleep again, then woke up and fell asleep once more! And then got up and lasted a few hours before my legs gave way on me twice, my arms felt so heavy I just couldn't lift them. I hate that feeling, I get it quite a lot nowadays, usually just in my arms. I'm so tired :(

    Sorry, this is a bit of a pointless post. I just don't know where else to go. You guys are my first source of support, even though I don't ask for it very often, and rarely under my actual username.

    I hope you're all doing ok :grouphug:
  2. You know I'm here hunny, whenever you need me, like it or not :smile:

  3. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    I can understand and relate to the feelings of wanting to leave, but at the same time not wanting to. I personally hope that you stay, because i care about you and (even though i don't reach out for help either) I need you.

    Please take care of yourself and try to get some rest/sleep.. you deserve it
    Jenny x
  4. Twisted Sweet Lies

    Twisted Sweet Lies Well-Known Member

    I've been wanting to leave too. The only resion I'm staying is because I have to learn how to deal with people.
  5. I like your icon TSL.
    Thank you for caring guys. Jenny, I guess you looked me up then. We haven't spoken in forever. Thank you :hug:
    Stupid always guess. Guess I can't hide things from myself OR you. Shame.
    I'm watching a documentary about people in treatment for anorexia and I am jealous of them. It hurts to watch it because they're talking about the loss of control, and I totally understand that. But I am so jealous because despite the loss of control, they don't have to worry. People care about what is best for them, people have the answers and know what to do, people actually give a shit about whether you're telling the truth or not about how you feel and what you do, and can tell. I wish I had that security of not having to worry all the time about how I'm affecting people, and what they know, and what they can handle. Not just you guys - more the people in my real life - but I don't reach out on here much any more, not really. I post whingeing threads in here, unregistered, that get a couple of replies and fade without trace. If you look back and know what to look for you'll see a few from the last couple of months. I'm just so tired of it all.
    I would hate to lose control but I just need something to change. I don't want to be like this any more. But no one will do anything. No one will DO ANYTHING.
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