below, low

[kreative1]

Yep, I fear where this is heading too, I'm rapidly heading to the beyond stage. After somehow finding the Hospital half tanked on high % xxxx, spend the best 10 days of my life in a low dep unit early Jan this year. Came out, some old some old, but it was all good, actually doing better, had little goals, but yep, past 2-3 months been hitting the vice, thinking ugly, bored, withdrawn, every aspect in life is dead ended, well basically, I never followed through anything in this ugly, shameful existence, that's why I'm still here, properly, no I will f**k up my ending. Was in deep thought to rip it or put my head through the monitor. Just popped me xxx gets me sleepy, hoping to nap till 2pm then somehow go to work, that's so painful getting up, then it all cycles up, ugly ugly and painful.

 

[Sadeyes]

Did they arrange for after-care? That is an important part of any treatment plan. Living in the real world is considerably different than being in the hospital...please let someone (e.g. pdoc, therapist) know what you have been taking lately and that you need more support in your recovery...big hugs, J

 

[kreative1]

i went to my GP after I got released to get my prescription, the condition of release was that I did a mental health plan, organized that but never went to the psych as all was good for that 2 month period. Was exercising, working with a smile, talking to people normally, eating well, even going to church, reading and listing to positive stuff, not thinking about anything, just going day by day. As usual F++cked that up, back to same ol ugliness. Some how just got up, nice sunny winters day off to work depressed, over it. Thanks for the reply.