Best friends don't act like this do they!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by A_pixie, Aug 16, 2010.

  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I have been best friends with a guy for around a year now, we tell each other everything, we are very close. However lately things have been changing rapidly,all of a sudden he's always in his boxers when I come over....we fall asleep and hes shirtless always cuddling up to me. We tickle fight and tell each other w elove each other out of nowhere.

    When I go out without him he's always really off with me the next day.

    He says he worries about me when I'm not around, he babies me making sure Im all taken care's the hugging up and falling asleep together that's making me raise an eyebrow.

    I think a lot of him and wonder if he feels the same.

    ANY advice would be much appreciated as I don't want to lose the one person who has kept me sane all this time and stopped me ending things! Particularly as my last best friend was a rapist! This man has restored my trust in people I have a lot of love for him and would like some advice about how to go about this if anyone has been kind enough to read my message.

    Thank you
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    You could ask, "Do you love me?" :smile:

    Your relationship sounds wonderful, you sound very lucky.
  3. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    The fear I have is excruciating's so bad I want to ignore it for as long as possible out of pure fear!

    I'm also worried if I do this too soon he won't be into it enough and may get freaked out...I don't know what to do but I'm right aren't friend's DO NOT act like this unless there is something else going on underneath :S
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    No they don't.

    It's understandable to feel scared. To say those words can mean things change-
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Aww that sounds so sweet!! :D It sounds like love, and it sounds mutual. I am so happy for you!! This guy is worth a shot in mpo. :hugs:
  6. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Things *will* certainly change if you ask the question.
    If you don't ask the question though; you may never know.
    He will feel the same way whether you ask or not-- but leaving your relationship as it is will more than likely hurt him. If he wants more, there's no helping it. If you want only to be friends with him, it's not going to change the way he feels.
    You can be best friends with mutual love for each other, but denying the fact that there is sexual tension (if there is) will most certainly hurt your friendship if you refuse to face facts and see it for what it is.

    I am only saying this from personal experience.
    I've always had more friends who were boys- than girls. There have been a few to develop strong feelings for me, but I did not feel as strongly for them as for the 'love of my life'.
    It is hard to have a male best friend if he has feelings for you that go beyond just friends.
    You both have to be willing to accept your friendship for what it is, move forward and into an intimate relationship or part ways.

    It is not an easy decision when you care very much for him but aren't sure what to do.
  7. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I'm completely in love with him I am just absolutely terrified of messing things up I mean I drunk dialed him the other night and I'm fairly certain I was saiyng stuff friends do not say to each other (he was wasted as well so he doesn't remember apparently!) however, the next day I went over there and we had a drink and woke up with him shirtless and us cuddling up to each other - not the first time it's happened!

    There was no awkwardness at all we just lay there talking, laughing, tickle fight, poke fight etc... I apologized for "using him as a pillow" and he said he really didn't mind lol...

    If he, for arguements sake does remember me drunkenly declaring my undying love for him then wouldn't he go out of his way not to give the wrong impression IE no more cuddling up shirtless!

    He just got out of a three year relationship that's another reason I don;t want to push him.

    But my God I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!

    Argh...I just want it to happen now I'm sick of waiting ;(
  8. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Well, what I said could go for either person in the situation-- just reverse the him/her's in what I've said.
    If he does have feelings for you but is hurt from his last relationship-- just getting things out in the open is fine. Knowing that the two of you feel the same way-- or not-- will resolve any confusion either of you may be feeling.

    If you love each other, you can choose to wait awhile before acting on your feelings. It can be comforting to *know* how he feels about you.
  9. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Take a chance and ask. :)
  10. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid to ask I mean it's become so normalized how we act I'm confused as to whether he feels that way or not, plus coming out of a bad three year relationship may have distorted his views on relationships I suspect....I dunno I guess time will tell.....hopefully seeing him Thursday lol :p
  11. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    He cuddles up to you shirtless and tells you he loves you. I think there's something there. XD And if there isn't (a big if, considering what I read), then at least you won't have to wonder anymore.

    There's nothing more that I can say that hasn't been said. *shrugs*
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    You say you're afraid, but he might be as afraid as you are.

    I know it's a terrible question but seeing as you're so intimate already- is verbalising and making it clear between you so frightening, or will you just be confirming the obvious? :smile:
  13. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    The boy wants you. But he's to afraid to say anything. Do you feel the same? If you do by all means tell him! God nothing is worse then hearing a few years later that I would have been with you if you made a move or I liked you but you never said anything. Who said you have to say I love you yet? Tell him you really like him and give him a kiss. That right there will answer any questions.
  14. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I completely agree with the great idea above, I never thought of. A kiss doesn't have words, and doesn't have to be super long or anything..
  15. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I want him more than anything....I'm seeing him again on Sunday please pray for me guys I care about him so mcuh and love him dearly I just want to be there for him all the time not as the best mate but as someone he loves back in that way!

    Please pray for me guys....please xxx
  16. Dubstepper

    Dubstepper Staff Alumni

    kissing is usually the easiest way to break any remaining ice (hint ;) ) just a peck on the lips will send either of you to cloud 9.. 10 and 11... not necessarily in that order. good luck! sounds (coming from a guy) like he is willing to do the relationship thing with you.. and possibly a sexual attraction is there, if i read correctly? (not to scare you, or him.. just to express my opinion) you've got the ammo, and he's got the powder.. make a bang! and you quite possibly will have the best explosion of a relationship this world has ever seen
  17. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I hope it all goes smoothly..but I'm fairly sure it will all be fine :biggrin:
  18. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!!!!!

    We were doing the cuddling thing and I think time stood still for a bit cause I was SO nervous I leaned in, he leaned also....ended up kissing for ages!


    Thank you SO much everyone who read my thread and made me brave enough to do it I couldn't have done it without talking to you guys thank you so so much!!!!!!

    I got up the courage to blurt out "I love you" after we'd kissed and he said it back!!!!

    I'm a bit nervous about the phone call I'm going to get later cause we had both had a bit to drink at the time but we left it well, all hugs etc.

    Please God we start going out...thank you again guys I love you for helping me with this :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2010
  19. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    !!!! i'm happy for you. :D and hope things go on as they are- that was a brave thing you did!
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2010
  20. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Oh my god :(


    I got a text a few hours ago from him saying "I thought I could trust you when I was drunk" OMG what the fuck?!!!

    I dont know what to think now hes been giving me the wrong impression for months....if you wanna give the "friend" impression Im sure you dont sleep shirtless with them, in nothing but your boxers and cuddle up!

    Somethings not adding up here!!!!

    I knew this was too good to be true I am ready to fucking kill something!