Best place to leave love message

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lastmessage, Apr 2, 2008.

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  1. lastmessage

    lastmessage Member

    I guess my previous post was out of arrogance, because i was getting annoyed with the registration thing. No, it was not my fault worked as comp engineer for five years.

    Anyway. Now that my gf sees that am researching various ways to die she keeps disturbing my meditation. When a few hours ago when I explained to her that unless I could claim my own land soon and be independent of people and live alone, she couldnt care less. Anywa I just want to be left alone for now. If only I had a way to be left alone for 2 hours just to think.

    Ive decided because there is no free land in the world to claim and I dont want to make anyone richer by buying theirs, that I want to die. I was thinking of a spree killing, either to be shot down by cops or just getting lethal injection for murder somewhere. Ive decided against this. Not for their sake but for the sake of myself. What if they realise I dont want life anymore and keep me tortured inside a cell forever?

    <mod edit: bunny - suicide note>
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi lastmessage,
    please let us help you live.
    can you share what has brought you to this point?
    many people here have felt just as desperate as you do right now, but it is possible to recover. don't do it,
  3. lastmessage

    lastmessage Member

    I grateful that you care, but to be honest my mind is made up. Tommorow I will take a mix of <mod edit:methods>. The reason for this post is for my gf and parents to realise why I made this decision. when the police or coroner or whoever look through my computer. Its ok I will finally find peace dont worry about me.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2008
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    So before tomorrow comes, maybe post some more about what has brought you to this. Maybe someone here will have a suggestion or idea that you never considered. You haven' got anything to lose at this point right?
  5. lastmessage

    lastmessage Member

    Just dont copy me because of some silly reason. Or I will have that on my concience. My reasons for wanting to die are more justified than if you get abused or are in a wheelchair or something. Im not saying Im better or that your not entitled to get depressed. Thats sounds all wrong dosnt it. Well I just want to say I have never known love or happiness and never will. Im a nice looking guy, but im always afraid. My frontal lobes in my brain got destroyed in a car accident, so I cant communicate with anyone, well I can communicate with dogs, but nothing else.
  6. bluefish

    bluefish Well-Known Member

    I don't know you but I don't want you to die. Please reconsider? Talk to me?
  7. lastmessage

    lastmessage Member

    You see. In the last post I probably offended every disabled or abused person without intending to. This is why communication with other people is so diffuclt for me.

    In my life ive called people a lot of bad things but not never intended it to hurt, well maybe just a little bit. Its hard to explain a lot of the time, but if you notice when a white guy calls a black the n word he gets a lot of probs, but if its a black guy its ok, muslims in Egypt made comics of the prophet mohammed farting in the 1960s, yet when Danish newspapers did this they get death threats. Imagine if english newspapers did the same thing.

    Anyway im not trying to start a relegios war, just trying to give a few reasons why im out of here.
  8. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    :) i get what you mean, and it doesn't sound like you are more 'entitled' or whatever. have you really exhausted all other options? i know you came here to write your note and leave, but i just want to make sure. i don't know anything about brain injuries, your experience of the car accident sounds awful, but believe me i know lots about depression and suicide. mostly i know how it distorts our thinking so that we forget how much we are loved and how much we would be missed. i also know that our tomorows are unwritten. might there be changes in brain injury research that would help you? might you defer your plans until then? just asking....
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2008
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

  10. lastmessage

    lastmessage Member

    I really appreacite the replies. I am gratefull for the kindness shown to me. As a result I have decided not to take my life tommorow. Instead I will walk with the mountains in scotland.I am not saying I will not take my life, just that i probably will take a long walk before I decide to do so. Take care.
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't do this lastmessage. :hug:
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