Best way to get rid of suicidal feelings?

[gag]

Alright, so lately I've been incredibly depressed, I was content before, now I just really don't enjoy life in the least bit.
The only reason I haven't already killed myself is because it'd put my family through hell, but I think about it all the time.

I'm not quite 18, so I'm a bit young to be feeling this shitty, but I'll give you all a simple summary.
1. My family thinks I'm a complete fuck up, they don't say it, but they don't have to.
2. I've been heavily drinking for over 3 years now, and don't enjoy myself unless I'm flat out drunk (even then, I still don't feel happy, just better than usual), with that said I think I'm an alcoholic. I get drunk or high on a daily basis.
3. I do drugs frequently, they don't make me happy, but I feel somewhat content when I'm on them.
4. I've been depressed for a few years now, gotten uclers because of it, several weeks ago a girl who I've been nuts about since the day I met her started ignoring me after a few dates, she doesn't want anything to do with me (no idea why, she doesn't know about the drugs or anything) so since then I've been suicidal.
That sounds like a lame reason to want to kill myself, but the only time I was happy was the short time I spent with her, once she left I basically just stopped caring about everything.

I'm not willing to put my family and friends through my death, especially since no one even has the slightest clue I am suicidal, this is the only place I've actually come flat out and said it. But I'm affraid if I don't start losing these feelings I'm going to get more depressed and just go through with it despite how selfish it would be.

Now I'm not willing to go through any theropy, or goto doctors or any of that, because the last thing I want is to be treated like a fucking mental patient. So please don't suggest that.
Just personal advice is what I am looking for here.

 

[silent_enigma]

Well, get off drugs for one thing.

 

[gag]

I fiend for them whenever I feel down though man, I think drugs might be the only reason I haven't killed myself.

 

[life]

suicide is a choice ; its not a feeling ..

 

[prakash]

You seem to be in big trouble. But dont lose hope. Try to stop drugs and alcohol. It is easier said than done. But if you continue doing drugs it will make things worse.

Forget about that girl. Be strong. If you want sex, masterbate. But dont get depressed because a girl doesnt like you anymore.

I would not blame that girl.

 

[justsomeguy]

I fiend for them whenever I feel down though man, I think drugs might be the only reason I haven't killed myself.

I can understand that. I'm not into drugs (years ago I did smoke a ton of weed) but I do drink to numb the pain. For me, I never feel suicidal when I'm drinking. So, at this point, I'll drink whenever I please. Sometimes I'll drink for 5 days straight and sometimes I won't drink for a couple of weeks...whatever gets me through the day is fine by me.

I have to ask, what kind of drugs are you taking? If you're into stuff like coke, herion, acid, shrooms and meth, I'd stay away from that stuff if I were you. If it's weed you like, then by all means have adder.

 

[gentlelady]

Both drugs and alcohol can contribute to depression. You ask for advice, yet do not want to seek help. You need to be open to the various avenues of help available to you, or nothing that we can say or do will help you out. I know it isn't easy, but you can do it. Going to counseling does not mean you will be treated as a mental patient, at least not in the terms you are thinking. You have to take the necessary steps and be willing to accept what needs to be done. Please think about things seriously. :hug:

 

[faceshed]

oh yes drugs are totally evil you know....
but now I wonder how many people that already posted are on anti-depressants....
hmmmmm... I think I'll wander off in deep though now.

sorry I couldn't be more help.

 

[Esmeralda]

I will talk to you like I would my brother. Please, for the love of God, tell the person you can trust the most. It may not be ideal, and you may think they will not understand, but before you do anything, please give at least ONE person the chance to help you. If my brother did what you are considering, I would DIE. I try to let him know how much I love him, but he can be so closed off, and I don't want to pressure him, so I offer my support and wait. Maybe this is what your family/friends are doing. PLEASE talk to someone who can give you some hope, some perspective and listen to their advice. This is not the end of the world, only the end of a period in your life, which may be a good thing. Do NOT for one minute think that you don't matter or that your life is not infinitely important to those who love you.

 

[Random]

You may or may not be glad to know you are one of many who have these problems.

I'm not as anti drug as some of the others because my personal feeling is that drugs usually aren't the primary problem. But they're probably right. They probably will only make things worse.

I don't know if you can "get rid of" the feelings. But you can learn to cope with them until they lessen. I often feel them more when I'm under a lot of stress. Something bad has happened or something like that. It makes it a whole lot worse. If you can just find something that gets you through those rough times, chances are, you'll be able to deal with the feelings when you're not in very stressful situations. Unfortunately, drugs and alcohol will only make you weaker. People sometimes do stuff they really regret later if they drink or do too many drugs.

 

[life]

Now I'm not willing to go through any theropy, or goto doctors or any of that, because the last thing I want is to be treated like a fucking mental patient. So please don't suggest that


What do u mean bro? The idea of treating like i mental patient doesnt sound good to u? Well unfortunately u are kind of mental patient cuz u drink and do drugs;thats an ilness aswell! What a pitty huh?

 

[gag]

Doing drugs makes you a fool, not mental, dispite what any doctor says.

And to answer the poster who asked what drugs I do, basically anything that grows from the ground, shrooms, weed, salvia, acid (the only man made drugs I take), I wouldn't mind getting my hands on Cocaine.

I am hesitant about shrooms though, last time I took them I got very, very depressed, and it has permanently changed my personality after seeing things in that perspective.

And as far as telling people I know in person, I don't think I could tell one of my friends how I feel without it getting around, they would probably think they're doing whats best, but I know they would never look at me in the same light again, and if I were to tel my parents they'd make my life 100% worse, and wouldn't give me a second of time to myself.
I would go to a counselor, but I know my family would end up finding out, seeing as to how I'm still under 18, and I don't have the money for a shrink.

 

[ace]

Dear Gag,I see the obvious problem you have mate but taking these drug's buddy are only going to increase your chAnces of having a mental illness hence making life hell and unbearable anyway.Listen to me don't consider yourself seeing a Dr as a mental patient,psycho or whatever otherwise if you have that opinion you will never get anywhere and improve.I understand the thing's you're saying,but it's never to late you're no criminal so go easy on yourself and try to ease up on the drugs and get help NOW!!:smile:

 

[Random]

The biggest problem I see is with mushrooms. Ergot has been known to cause seizures and as someone who's been epileptic for nearly 20 years, I can tell you that a bad seizure is not fun. You may or may not be aware of a seizure while it's happening but afterwards, you will feel like you've been run over by a freight train.

I don't know if there's a chance of LSD and similar causing permanant epilepsy or not but I can tell you that you definitely wouldn't enjoy it if that were even a chance.

I refuse to condemn weed as some others have. I'm not convinced that it's as harmful as it's been made out to be. It's probably not a good idea to use it if you're already having problems, however.

 

[Azul]

Not all people who do drugs end up depressed... some do.
Not all people who don't do drugs end up depressed... some do.
Some people can't deal with drugs, others can.

 

[is_god_alanis]

You should get off drugs and see your doc and go to therapy. They dont think you're a nut case, believe me, they'll have met real nut cases :wink: I didn't want to go to therapy but i finally did and its starting to really help.

 

[Sasuke]

I would do drugs if i could get my hands on em so im noit gonna attack you on that. Oh well life sucks for some i guess.

 

[Goose]

I'm 17 too and I feel bad about doing it while having parents and grandparents still around. I suppose when you're dead, you don't have to worry about that?

 

[p3cky]

suicide is a choice ; its not a feeling ..

suicide isnt a choice it is a feeling

 

[Random]

I'm 17 too and I feel bad about doing it while having parents and grandparents still around. I suppose when you're dead, you don't have to worry about that?

But the world goes on after someone dies. Those people who care about you will remain living for an indeterminate period of time, in which they will most likely grieve for you on a daily basis.

I had a dog that died a few years ago. She died simply of old age. Now keep in mind, this is just a dog. I was devastated by that. I was a total mess for at least two weeks. I still can't think about her without getting very sad and upset. When I took her to the vet for the last time, the feeling was just terrible. I felt so helpless. I just wanted one more day with her and her time was running out with every breath.

If you care for those you'd leave behind, it doesn't matter much if you;d have to worry about it or not. What about them?