best way to turn a guy down(guys- help me out! ><)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by KittyGirl, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    ...while leaving his pride intact.
    I'm completely dense when it comes to guys, because for as long as I have been old enough to date- I've been taken.
    When a guy would ask me to do something, my automatic response was; "I have a boyfriend."
    I've realized only recently that I am single now-- so I can't necessarily use that excuse anymore... but I am nowhere near ready to date yet. I don't even want to think of the opposite sex as potential mates. -___-
    I need alot more time to heal my shattered heart.

    I tend to give away too much information; and I don't want to be rude...
    So for future reference- travel to the city- hanging out at bars and so on and so fourth... how can I let a guy(or girl too, I suppose...) down gently?
    What's the best thing to say? Should I explain my situation- or just lie to make him feel better- and make something up?

    Guys... what would you prefer to hear when getting turned down?
    What response lets you know that friendship is okay- but sex/relationship is a definite no go?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 11, 2010
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    As a guy... I prefer it when girls are honest. "I don't think it would work." "You're not my type." Something along those lines. Just direct, honest, and assertive.

    I know girls that lie or unintentionally lead a guy on because they're too scared of ... like your said... hurting his pride/feelings. But I think, as a guy, it is much more frustrating when a girl does that rather than just be direct with me. Saves me a lot of energy.

  3. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Be honest and civil, keep it short and sweet, avoid cliches e.g It's me, not you.
  4. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Alright... so I won't go into details and will refrain from telling him my whole life story XD
    But I will say; "I'm not looking to be in a relationship right now..." ? And that would be okay?
    ...I feel really dumb planning my rejection method out now- because it's been years since I've actually gotten flat out -hit on. haha
    Oh well! It could happen, I guess...
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I say I am getting over a breakup and am just not ready to start dating right works on two levels one they figure you got some baggage so they run and they want someone not hung up on someone else so they realize it is for the best
    It also lets them know it is not about them so their pride remains in tact

    I have smiled and said sweetly thanks but I have girlfriend and that sort of gave them pause...letsthem know for sure it aintabout them but of course lying is never good.

    I am a whimp but just can't say you are my type as that would hurt my feelings to hear.

    hope this helps..
  6. Maxie

    Maxie Active Member

    If a woman said this to me, I would smile, wish her luck, and move on with no hard feelings.
  7. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    You're great, Bambi! <3
    Okay! I'm a total nervous dork, so I'm sure I'll practice these lines quite a few times before I head to the city! XD