Better to have loved and lost....

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by jKORE, Feb 11, 2009.

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  1. jKORE

    jKORE Senior Member

    Ok so this isnt such a 'serious' topic,
    but I just wanted to know your opinion on something.

    Many years ago, when i was in my early teens, i came home to my older brother (2 years older) trying to hang himself. it was heartbreaking for me. this was the one person (due to lack of a father) that i looked up to for advice and respected.
    I later found out the situation. He had just had his heart broken by the girl he loved. he didnt want to live anymore.

    This burned into my young brain an image of so-called 'love' as an evil, death-dealing emotion that i would do well to avoid. up until this day, i have not been in love and have no desire to.
    Sure ive been in relationships... but whenever things start to get serious, my mental imbalance kicks in and i flee like a scared mouse. i was so infatuated with one girl, we nearly got married, but when i had time to really assess the situation, again i ran, without giving the poor girl a reason.

    I know its cruel of me. but i also know they couldnt understand how scared i am.
    its not that death is a scary thing for me, its not. its just that what happened it my youth has given me a sort of phobia of "the L-word"

    So, apologizing for my little rant, my question is, considering all the pain and feelings of worthlessness that comes from losing love:
    Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I'm a romantic and choose love every time. But I'm really in love with being in love, so I can go from one person to another like a monkey...

    I really hope that doesn't make me sound too horrible.
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    good question my friend, very good question.

    i am in somewhat way the same feelings about love but here lately i figuered its better to give all my love out then to take much in. i want to try to be a bringer of love and peace and some harmony to others if i can.

    my issues run deep with trust and love. so i can fully relate to you in a way, see every time i love someone, and i mean really truly honestly love someone, one of 2 things always happens, either they die or they leave me, or rather i should say just dump me.

    At a few times i have thought of others as more then just plain brothers, bible says there is one who loves you more then his brother, etc, thats Jesus and God and well we as christians are suppose to try to be like him, so i did, i loved several people but they always left me. i loved a minister and his wife both as much as jesus would and gives provisions to but they up and left, heck they just disappeared and never even made a choice to even call, not even one time, did manage to send a letter registered but only because i sent one registered to them, etc. then of course there are those who i love a little more, like one member here once and then i thought he had died and i even posted some good things about him but later learnerd he had faked his death, i forgave him
    and dont even know if he is living or gone now, cause he left me. then my older brother, i never was much good with him but then for a while we started being talking each and every day on the phone and i got to see him several times and then he left, GOD took him from me.. now i think GODS going to take my dad as well.. everyone i get close to or open up and love either leave me or die and in dying they also leave

    so is it better to love then lose? i dont know. i just know it hurts. it hurts a lot and punches another hole in my already tattered and torn heart. so i cant fully answer that question, but i will tell you this. i am happy to have gotten to know them, even for a little while.
  4. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    If you aren't interested in love, then don't get into relationships and screw other people over.
  5. Aeterna

    Aeterna Account Closed

    I find that the answer generally switches based on what part of a relationship (or lack thereof) you're in.

    If your heart has just been devastated, you'll wish that the pain was gone, and wish that you had never loved at all.

    However, whenever you fall back in to a decent relationship, or get over the relationship you've just had, you'll think that it's better to have loved and lost.

    My opinion: It's better to love, because eventually you'll find someone who you can't lose until they die.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2009
  6. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    one swallow doenst make a whole summer as they say. one bad love incident doesnt mean that all relationships are doomed. you have generalized to the point where you are incapable of love. relax a bit and let love take its course,
  7. jKORE

    jKORE Senior Member

    Since when was a relationship based solely on love? Love is a by-product of a relationship, for sure, but only if you let it become that. Relationships are about companionship, and friendship and intimacy. They are started with the purpose of getting to know the other person.
    Just because I don't want love, doesn't mean I want to be single for the rest of my life.

    I wasn't asking for your opinion on my own choices by the way, just your views on the question.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2009
  8. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    yes, it's better. by far.
  9. Whitewolf

    Whitewolf Well-Known Member

    There is no such things as love. People who say they are in love are deluding themselves. Love is as Real as God. It's a hope, not a reality.

  10. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Delusion's a good thing. Reality is shit.
  11. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    never love..
  12. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    It's not such a big deal. To all those that have "loved and lost" get down off your cross, take the wood build a bridge and get the fuck over it.
  13. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    I think they both are equally as bad.

    Having never loved someone you will always wonder what it's like.

    Having loved someone only to break up (50% of people do anyways) it can be really traumatizing for some. If you aren't prepared for it I feel that you should probably avoid it. But eh, you can't help it sometimes I suppose.

    I'd have to go with never loving. Heartbreak can just be too much for some people, especially those with strong emotions.
  14. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Well, do you want to try and fail in the attempt or never try at all? The former will give you knowledge and experience, which will hopefully make your next attempt more efficient and give you more confidence as a result. While the latter keeps you in your comfortable, safe ignorance forever.
  15. Whitewolf

    Whitewolf Well-Known Member

    You should always attempt to meet your LEGITIMATE goals in life. Love doesn't exist so trying to find it isn't a legitimate goal.
  16. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Okay, if that belief makes you comfortable.
  17. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    for old times sake...


    :no: :depressed: :cry:...

    :guiness: x ??? :dead:!

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 9, 2009
  18. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    Love is like a drug. It's heroin.

    Life is initially fine. Kind of bland, but livable. Then you get your first hit of love. You get high. Very high. You feel incredible happiness. But what happens when the relationship falls apart, & you cant get your fix? You get withdrawls. Withdrawls from love are as strong as withdrawls from heroin. Not everyone makes it through them either.

    We're warned about drugs, but not love.
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