Beyond belief?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Nov 28, 2010.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I couldn't recall the amount of times people including friends claim I'm possibly the funniest loser they've met but I can count all the times I've never been invited to party's or out at the weekend to nightclubs. Fair enough I wouldn't enjoy myself and I do come across grumpy which in my world is the real me per se.

    I've somehow been typecasted as a clown by everybody whilst trying not to come across like a rude person. Most of the time I'm short on a conversation so I'll simply come out with something witty due to the amount of times spent alone to my own devises watching comedy dvds and tv it isn't a surprise to be honest. The trouble is I think nobody considers me to be worth while company so they don't bother lending a hand when it comes to holding a conversation but It's always me looking red faced if I've tried to save the rare moment by acting like a fool. Instinctively stupid I guess.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No not stupid at all i use humor all the time to cover up whats inside You may be using humor as well as a coping skill to get by so not stupid very smart really using what you have to survive. Perhaps reachout to new people join a new activitiy class you like to meet new people who don't know you. A new start so to speak
  3. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    It feels like everybody is misjudging my persona though Violet. I've been on so many college courses and don't seem to make any long binding bonds with anybody. They add me on facebook but don't seem intrested in me it's just like they are trying to add another number to a list. My long established friends are remotely far away from me despite living just roads apart. I don't think anybody can take me seriously enough.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    it is hard to establish a close friendship I have not been able to do that one all my life but then i do not reach out to people. I do not want that. Personas we have many of them perhaps you can develop a new persona one that people can attach too. If that is what you want i don't see why you can't have it. Perhaps getting some councilling on this with a therapist might help you A T can give you different skills in developing new relationships and keep them. I hope i am making sense
  5. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I've tried to bond with most people over the years though but they don't seem to care enough about me. The time I spent with cousins growing up feels wasted, the playground laughter with friends feels pointless now and the time at college has been a disaster. Trying to forge relationships with women is hard and with all that has gone on in the past I'm trying to come to terms with how I am to balance the fact nobody likes me with hoping to meet a possible partner. Doesn't bide well for my confidence to be honest. Thanks Violet I'll consider a therapist but I'm not sure I'm the kind of person who will listen or talk for that matter. x
  6. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    You know what hun? You need to read a few biographies (not sure how to spell that, sorry) In particular, you need to read about great comedians who had mental issues as well. Which is just about all of them.
    Spike Milligan, Steven Fry, Peter Sellers. The list is endless. They will all show you that comedians, in fact talented people generally, can live very lonely lives.
    I think you should take this period of college to learn who you are and what your strengths are. Forget about other people, you'll meet the right people when the time is right.
    I've had long periods in my life when I've had no friends because I've never been the kind of person who suffers fools gladly and I refuse to change who I am just to fit in with a crowd. Who wants to be part of the crowd anyway?
    The period in your life will pass but it's up to you to make the most of what's happening now and it seems to me that you're supposed to be concentrating on you and not others right now xxxxx
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    People can only react to what they know about you...your humorous persona can also be mixed with other features of you...none of us are one note...maybe by being more forthcoming with who you are, ppl will have the opportunity to know a truer you...chose one person who you think is most compassionate and see if you reveal different aspects of yourself, if s/he might not feel closer to you...just my 2cents and hope you find a way for others to know the different aspects of you, J
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