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Beyond Help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by spidy, Nov 5, 2009.

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  1. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I know ive posted here to much but seriously i cant seem to get rght.Im really on edge i know i should be going for help but that all seems like a temp solution.Ive tryed being happy taking my mind of things but i cant dosnt work i just cant function.Dreams arnt dreams thghts aint thghts its alll negative.Ive been waiting for the weekend to come as nobody will question when i go out they will just think i will be with other ppl.Im scared if i stuff this attempt up they will put me in a proper mental hosp and ive heard bad stories about the one we have in the city.I really cant go on with this misery thgh ive tried holding off but everyday is becoming more of a struggle.I really am giving up at a fast pace.I have a note on the ready and the plan.Wont be found this time as i wont have my phone to ring anybody as they seem to talk me around or ring police.As i said i cant fail.I really have had enough i cant be like this anymore.My life is dead.
  2. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    Try getting that help you are talking about. It might seem pointless, but maybe there's a chance something good will come of it. Let someone try to help you.

    We're hoping for the best for you here. Good luck.
  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Thnx but my mind is made up.I actually wish i didnt put this post here.I lyed awake all nght thnking and ive got worse.I dont think many ppl believe me but they will soon see.Ive just had it and i really feel like a reject in this world.Everyone i crie for help too seems to have a hint of disbelief in me ive tried talking when someone cares to listen which is rare seen the so called trained ppl.It just comes down too im lifeless.
  4. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. I can't make anything better for you. I just hope you can find something that fixes everything.

    I can tell you that it doesn't make sense to hurt yourself just to prove to someone that you will. I'm not sure that helps, but maybe just try and think it through and find someone that can help you.

    You can always just vent here too.
  5. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Not ou to prove anything just sick of this on going battle of nothingness.The thghts are starting to rule my life and wont go away.I really cant see any other way i know it prob the most rational escape but i dont even know how to help myself and i know thts where it starts.I have become totally fcked up with to much sht going on and everywhere i turn i feel as thgh i dont belong.Cant pull myself togeather and as i see it i have no chance.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm glad you posted. You do have a chance; I know it feels like you're not being listened to, but there are people here who listen and who care. Please don't stop talking.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Most hospitals have different wards.. Ours has the C ward for the ones that are whacked out, B ward for the ones who are more stable and can control themselves, and tha A ward for senior citizens..I have been in the hospital ten times because they couldn't get my meds right..I am finally stable on the ones I am on.. I still have alot of issues to work out but I am not trying to attempt again..Give the professionals a chance to help you..If you have to distance yourself from your friends and family then so be it.. Right now you need to worry about your own self.. Keep posting so we know how you are...
  8. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Yes, I always say(well mentally atleast) "Crush anything that lies between you and staying alive." Is there something that's stressing you out even more? If something's pushing to the edge just think "Nope, fuck that. That can wait/That person can wait etc". I can't remember if you've mentioned any meds but maybe you'd wanna try that or see if you can change? If the docs are pissing you off, see if you can change to a less wanker one (lol). If you have the sudden urge to kill yourself maybe you just want to drop it and walk off and do something else? I hope you choose the right path, Good Luck and Keep posting so we know your ok :)
  9. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    This is it im sorrry everyone ive got about hour and half to leave house.Thnx for all your kind words and support and again sorry im letting ppl down as my mind has been made up for about a week.I really am all messed up at moment and find this the only way i shouldnt be to much of a loss.
  10. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Please reconsider :(, I know your life may seem seriously fucked, feeling like you're in the biggest whole you can't climb out of. But just remember, there is still hope, no matter what happens there is always a spec of hope for eveyone. I hope this isn't to late and you've already headed out. Stay with us, just for one more day and see what happens? Keep Safe pls :hug:
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Gav,

    I really hope you will reconsider. Remember, those thoughts won't last forever.What has triggering this? :hug:
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I really hope you don't do it!!
  13. chooselife

    chooselife Well-Known Member

    Hi Spidy.

    Because we don't know the extent of your story it's a little difficult to advise you on what to do. I do know that in life there are many challenges we have to face, and when we face them we overcome and grow from them. I know also that we experience a lot of pain, some of this pain is temporary!

    Maybe you should change your life completely if you are able to. You know killing yourself seems a simple way out, but TRULY think about this, you will be DEAD! Your life will be OVER. Do you REALLY want that? or do you just want the pain to end? If it's the latter, please work at it to resolve whatever it is you're going through.

    There are many mental health facilities out there. Do a search in or close by to your area. Some Hospitals have psychiatric units. Go to another city if you have to, but get the help.

    I kinda wish I knew what was going on with you, what was making you feel and think this way.

    Anyway, try and muster up some strength and think about how you can change your life, coz it obviously isn't working right now. By changing it I do not meaning ending it! I tried that. I gave up on life, didn't give two shits about life or the people in it, couldnt take anymore of the pain. Now, I have totally turned my life around. Only you can help you. Write some more let us know what's going on..... Be strong!
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