bi or lesbian?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by wheresmysheep, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I'm just wondering about how you know. i know i'm either of them, but idk. i just want some help in this area. also i've only come out to one person about this, and he's a close gay friend, but i dont know what to do in regards to mum, and other friends.
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    well i guess do u find men attractive as well as women? can you imagine yourself having sex with a man?
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    see the thought of it being just 'a man' no it makes my skin crawl.

    i have to be very comfortable OR extremely down, to want a guy.
  4. hmm i went thru a bi-curious stage but im not.. i didnt look at girls and think gosh they are hot i just like them in a different way to friends if you get my drift
    but i just think guys are hot now.. :tongue:
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    no i'm not straight frizz. i know i'm not. i just unsure if i'm bi or lesbian.
    cause if been with guys. and girls, but now i'm not sure if i'm being honest with myself.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    well you don't have to label it. I used to try and label myself bi or straight, but then eventually I was just like, well if I'm attracted to someone I am attracted to someone, I don't need a definite label.
    Go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable :D
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    having a 'label' makes me comfortable :shy:
  8. hug emma... try not to think about it so much.. do what you want and whats comfortable for you :wink:

  9. Anju

    Anju Well-Known Member

    The more you think about it the harder it would be to give yourself a label...

    I went through the stage of needing to label myself bi or lesbian, but it just didn't work for me so I just stay non descript :tongue:. It's common to have a preference for one gender too, which is hard cause I remember going through a stage of thinking dang, I like girls more, I must be lesbian...then went with a guy :laugh:

    Just give yourself time and I'm sure it'll become clear :heart:
  10. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Do you find men sexually attractive.
    If you do your bi sexual.
  11. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    Im happy to lable myself as Bi... Most of you know of course i have a daughter, therefore have been with a guy who i loved and thought loved me back but didnt :smile: but my ex gf made me feel special.. knew what girls liked... :biggrin:

    you are who you are, feel comfortable with it, and well, if people dont like it, thats their choice... we'll always wuvsies you emma :biggrin: :hug:
  12. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about labels. Go with what you feel.
  13. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    go with what you feel.
    im a bisexual, but i am a little
    shy when it comes to telling
    people about it, but i would
    go with your gut, and do what
    you think is right.
  14. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    hmm fair enough. ty ppls.

    i just recon i have alot of underlying issues..but anyway ty
  15. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Underlying issues are often the case, but committing to a label won't help. If you feel attracted to both men and women, pursue them as appropriate, regardless of how you classify yourself.
  16. Eric

    Eric Well-Known Member

    Just to clarify something.

    Being curious does not mean you swing the other way.
    Randomly thinking about engaging in sexual relations with a person of your same sex doesn't mean you're gay either.

    Looking for gay companionship, having sexual relationships, and actually liking the experience does make you gay.

    Adding to that, nobody's 100% straight, mind you. I remember reading something about it a while ago.

    Then again, I'm probably a misinformed idiot and I might be wrong. That's what I believe though based on personal experiences and what I've read.
  17. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Sexuality is far too complicated for absolutes like "straight" or "gay". And, I don't think that "Looking for gay companionship, having sexual relationships, and actually liking the experience" is required to be gay, nor do I think it necessarily "makes" you gay... It's too complicated for stuff like that, and it's not static.

    To top it all off, "female" and "male" are ill-defined, culturally. Some women are more manly than men and vice-versa. Is going for a feminine man gay? How about a masculine woman? [Most would say no, but it isn't entirely clear in my mind]
  18. daniel2

    daniel2 Banned Member

    Hi Emma,

    Did you say that the idea of sex with a man makes your skin crawl? Also if you fantasize primarily about women when you are masturbating (sorry for being so crude) then you may very likely be gay rather than bisexual. I understand your desire to define yourself and your sexual identity.

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2008
  19. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    just to clariify that statement i made, cause it did hurt someone. due to past stuff that i dont want to get into, the idea of being with a general guy/man/male makes my skin crawl, and makes me feel sick, now if i am extremely comfortable with him, or in some cases when i AM attracted which is not that often, then obviously yes. but if i were to just want sex, as in the physical act, (and possibly relationship blah blah blah) i would seek women.
    idk tbh. its a big mess and i think the ppl saying, whatever your comfortable with go with it are right
    --watch this space--
  20. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Yeah, guys are gross and generally unappealing. I'm at least occasionally attracted to men I'm very comfortable with, as well, but for the most part I can't stand the idea... Though I'm more comfortable with the idea of casual sex with a man than a woman, for some reason, possibly because I'd look for more with a woman.