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big hole in my heart

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by forever_scarred, Jul 20, 2010.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    I deleted my account at DT for a short time...i have made a new one....been in chat a couple of times but it no longer feels right. i feel like im an outcast and no longer belong. its funny how ur life can change so much in just one nite. just the few words people say to u can hurt so deeply inside that i feel i cant stay there anymore an no matter how badly i need to be there i cant. they won and i lost....i always said someday id lose the fight i guess it just came sooner than i ever thought. lost friends that i had never hurt in my life, people who would talk to for hours because they needed it but they in turned turned their backs and laughed thinking i was some stupid joke. i depended on DT even tho i never asked for much, i rarely opened my mouth, i still needed it; and even tho i have a new account whats the point of having it if no one is there to talk to? i'm back here trying desperately to find a corner where i can at least sit without someone attacking me or my feelings, but even here im not comfortable, i dont belong anywhere and it hurts really really bad. im so isolated, i have very few friends now that i can speak to and atm no one in real life.....if i lose one more person or get rejected im going lose it and its gonna be on the wrong person. im sorry its just i cant and no one understands that i hurt, its not just one thing its a lotta things....it used to be just mom but now its the whole world....i used to hate it....now it hates me. and worst of all this "and about those friends who arent friends anymore i dont care u were friends to begin with ~ Kandi" i never did anything to her, she said she was leaving the site suddenly i see this...it shouldnt bother me but it does... *shakes head and just sits in silence"