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biggest fight...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by KittyGirl, Apr 22, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    This is going to sound stupid to alot of people, I guess...
    But I feel really really down right now. -__-

    Since it's Earth day, my brother has been on a psychotic rampage-- being the biggest 'preservation nazi' ever... and it's really irritating since he doesn't seem to care on any regular day whether every light in the house is on- and T.V's- the heat on full blast...
    Mom and I were preparing dinner and had the kitchen light on.
    He wanted to turn the radio on for whatever reason- even though he wasn't even IN the fucking kitchen. I told him NO- turn it off- it's annoying--- and he freaked out, yelling at me for having the kitchen light on even though the sun is still up.
    I told him to get the fuck out 0f the kitchen, and he screamed at me then stormed out of the house.

    For one thing, I don't fight with people.
    I hardly ever disagree to the point that I feel I have to argue with someone, or even raise my voice.
    Today I yelled.
    I got screamed at- and now I'm in a bad place and feel horrible for ever waking up today.
    I just want to go back to sleep and never wake up.

    I really dislike this house.
    I can't stand living with my family... I have always been standing on my own two feet- and now I'm a failure who had to come running home; and it's making me really sad. I hate it here... but I've got nowhere else to go.
    I wish I had my passport-- so that I could move into the mountains of tibet; become a monk; and never speak to anyone again.
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww :hug: sorry you had to fight with your brother...sounds like he wanted to control the kitchen...or maybe participate in his clumsy way with what you were doing....

    still he had no right to get upset, especially if he wasn't in the kitchen...you did the right thing to defend yourself....

    you know its not failing if you return home...your taking a break for when you can fly on your own...its like a bird with a broken wing...can't fly until his wing is healed...so might as well get comfy and work everything so you can heal perfectly and fly :)
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Thanks, you're always so sweet~ I appreciate your words.

    I think I've just been overly-emotional lately...
    I've been taking late night/early morning walks the past week- to get exercise; and each time, I walk down to the shore and just stand there and cry for an hour or two. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me... I really don't want to keep crying all time time but it's just so hard to hold in since I've been so sad for a long time.

    things really are shitty.
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww :hug: well at least its coming out...maybe you need to cry for a while, let all the bad things out, a good inner cleaning as they say, to welcome better, good and happier things...

    I can understand being emotional though...I swear I'm always crying at weird things and stuff....