Okay, here goes. I'm a binge eater. Have been all my life. Never really cared because I thought I'd be dead before I turned 40, but here I am at 43 and 450lbs. I binged tonight, smaller than I used to do, but still ate to the point that I feel sick. My gut hurts and I'm absolutely disgusted with myself. So, my question is this, does anyone have any idea how to turn this around? Combined with the depression and years of suicidal thoughts I've found it impossible to find the motivation to turn things around, but I can't keep going like this. I've joked for years that I am bullemic, I just keep forgetting to throw up. But it's not funny anymore. Maybe it never was.