Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by mortdesinos, Jul 2, 2008.
Also, how did you know you were hypomanic or manic, and did you crash into depression?
my therapist told me two weeks ago that i was hypo-manic (still am). in fact they started me on a new med just for this, and it hasn't helped a bit. here's the kicker though they lifted the label of bi-polar from me a few years ago.
The most manic I've been started out with me wanting to do a million things at once, I redecorated my room completely and bought all new stuff for it. I went shopping for loads of new things and big purchases too. I was doing all-nighters for days upon days in a row...I eventually got really agitated and I began having psychosis - I thought I saw an angel that wanted me to go to Africa to save the world so I packed a bag and just started walking to who knows where. I didn't really know how manic I was until I got picked up by an ambulance which took me to the psych ward for 3 months. I usually know that I'm manic when I feel really agitated and restless and I stop needing sleep. I crashed into a major depressive episode following that which is why I was in the hospital for so long following the manic episode. It was definitely and awful experience.
The most manic I have been was last year in October. I was on top of the world and thought nothing could go wrong. I had more energy but still needed to sleep a lot because of all the meds I was on. They knock me out and make me tired even though I had more energy. I came up with millions of ideas for my business and thought I was going to be a multi millionaire. I am an artist and I drew 24 hours a day and was more creative. I thought that I was going to be so rich that I was going to take my family on an extremely expensive vacation. I was also very hyper and couldn't control myself, to someone on the outside it almost looked like I had ADHD. I talked real fast and had racing thoughts. The good news is that I didn't do any of the bad things associated with mania. That is why I think mine was more like hypomania rather than full blown mania. I was optimistic about everything and usually I am the most negative person on Earth or whatever planet we are on. But then I crashed into a deep dark depression like I am having now. I'm not suicidal or anything but I keep on feeling things inside of me and want to cut them out. The hypomania lasted a couple of months. The depression lasts for 500 years. In my life I have been 95% depressed and 5% happy or in the middle. I've been depressed since I was born many years ago.
my experience with hypomania was that i pacing endlessly, shaking my arms to get the excess energy out (let's call it flapping, ahem ... 'cos that's what it looked like), racing thoughts, felt and sounded like a blizzard in my head, wanted to jump on a plane and head to spain so i could go party aka sleep around for a few days since i knew from past experience that had helped calm me (not really, i just thought it did -- this time gave my passport to my sister for safe keeping).
i ended up at the psych ward (assessed, not admitted) and the doc there said this was hypomania -- the difference between what i experienced and mania they said was i didn't quite get into the spending madly, grand plans stage (but still i was pretty badly out of it.)
before this episode i had always thought mania was supposed to be a good, happy place to be (loads of energy, loads of creativity, therefore i wasnt defining my experiences as such) but the reality was, this time, the suicidal feelings never let up... instead i was suicidal and agitated... a really, really bad combo.
one theory is the anti-depressants triggered it. i'm off the anti-depressants and on a couple new meds and i feel much, much better.
2001 lasted 3 months. i can't believe how i got through that a lot of it wasn't pleasant at all....
nah it wasn't good
i didn't go to mh services until december of that year when i got depressed and didn't know wtf was wrong with me
p.s i didn't know i was manic. i could do a tonne of artwork and i was flying really and everyone loved me. a lot of my work then took me through my last year of school where i was very depressed for a lot of it. i thought there was something really wrong with me though when i felt like there were colours in my blood
i crashed into depression late summer/ bad depression in the winter of that year. it was only then i felt desperate like there was something really wrong...
actually i was cycling in those 3 months, they call it rapid cycling those doctors. a lot of 'mixed states' too. i got long lasting depression (in bed for a month no getting up) in the winter.
I don't have bipolar, but my close friend did. She once told me she didn't sleep, shower or eat for 3 weeks straight. She was extreme though.
Not sleeping for a week, not eating for a week, pacing around, playing with stuff and pasting and taping stuff all over my arms, talking really fast, laughing out loud, taking out a $500.00 loan and spending it within 1-2 days, making pickle people with real dried out pickles with cloth for clothes on them and paper for eyes and marketing them on ebay and trying to make my own company called Pickle People International, writing tons of poems, and eventually talking to imaginary people and seeing things. And then I thought I was the Queen of The Nile. This was all last summer.
Then I had mixed episodes for awhile last summer too.
And then last winter I crashed into depression and have been in it since.
I think i am Manic - Lauging at things i wouldnt usahlly laugh at i.e People on the motorway with a flat tyre , not need for much sleep , beliving i'm superman , beliving i'm the sun of jusus , eating loads of food , lots of energy, wanting to spend loads of money , destratble easily , racing thoughts , hearing things that arnt realy their (i think)
my mood continues to go up and down rapidly..
IT turns out i am Bipolor i had a chat with my Psych and he said i am suffering from a bipolor illness. Cheers for all your help. i was manic last summer and i did crash into depression.
I hope all of you are stable at the moment.
I hope you are finding the right medications. How are you doing now?
In my memory, the world is swirled, faintly..
A commodity, more than a man, I myself am saintly..
But religion is a game, not the one I'd like to play..
To feel the heat from her chest and back is the only way..
And she keeps changing as my eagle mind dives down,
expanding my horizons, I am the focus above ground..
I watch people on the streets, a few visibly stained with pain..
It's all too slow, so I mutter and await riling action without shame..
The rush is sudden, distant thoughts and vigor control my brain..
Do the street walkers think I'm drugged or insane?
Although they rose and crushed violently today, I missed the waves..
Will they come back? Or.. Will I crawl back into my cave?
A corkscrew life is not the best..
In case I ever put my mind to rest..
In my memory
Well, I have three episodes I consider kind of equal on the how high stakes:
- Forgetting to eat and drink due to distractions despite being hungry and really thirsty, also very energetic, couldn't sit still;
- nearly hyperventiliating while talking super fast non-stop and having mum tell me repeatedly to slow down, and pacing, then feeling paranoid when she was watching me pace;
- and going 'funny' one night and having my psychologist tell me I was on the verge of psychosis. Not fun and certainly hope I never have a full psychotic episode....
Just coming out of a nasty depressive episode, and mum was saying that just a few days ago I was bouncing off the walls.... As for knowing I'm manic/hypomanic, its usually energy and out-of-proportion sense of humour, or agitation and energy combinations that make me think am I? That or my mum/brother turning around and saying 'are u ok, u seem a bit manic' (the times I'm oblivioius to it lol....)?
Think I'm about to start bouncing of them walls again....
I used to go on road trips and spend all my money. I stole money from anywhere I could and then would spend every penny I had and max out my credit cards. I drove to Florida one time and partied in Panama City Beach for 10 days and blew all my money and had to call my best friend to give me some gas money so I could get home. No one knew I was in Florida, so I couldn't call my parents. I also ended up getting a speeding ticket on the way back for going 91 in a 65 (I had slowed down already from over 100).
I rented a car another time and drove to North Carolina for a week and, again, blew all my money. I just would never sleep and constantly started projects and cleaned and sorted and bought and bought and bought things. I would go out a lot by myself. I wouldn't eat, I would just zoom around all day at full speed. My thoughts were so fast, I barely made sense when I spoke. I'm too smart for my own good and would concoct all sort of ideas and plans and get myself into situations that I couldn't get out of. I ruined my credit and it took years and years to fix it.
I always crash into a depression after a hypomanic/manic episode. The difference with hypomania and mania is that hypomania typically occurs without psychosis. It usually doesn't last as long and isn't quite as severe. When you are having an episode, you may or may not even realize it. I don't know if I knew every time. I think I was aware most of the time. I can feel them coming on now. I know what to look for. But I always crash after one and it's a hard, long crash. Even with medication, it's the worst depression I experience.