It started with not sleeping and I was ok, good even, then the next day I didn't sleep or eat. then tonight I drank. Drank after I had skipped sleep and added stimulant meds, adderall at normal dose, but it's not like I was trying to do this. And there I was, dancing around in shorts and a tank top video-taping it all, haha. But no, for IDK how long like five hours and then I wondered if the neighbors hear and I kinda panicked though people didn't seem to be bothered. Then the ultimate crash of crashes, and I am bawlin my eyes out over absolutely everything that's horrible which is everything at the time. Then almost an hour of sleep, I wake up a bit and I'm like holy crapola. Reality sets in and I want to escape it but a part of me says not to focus on that. It does not really matter it didn't really affect anyone at all other than me. Now I am upset. I really dont like these ups and downs at all. But I think I enable them to some extent. not on purpose... Right now lack of sleep is starting to set in I had better sleep soon. I need to work on things.