I've posted elsewhere and it gets boring repeating my story so I'll just give you a brief outline... I'm really happy, most the time, really really happy. And then, as if to make up for it, with no trigger, I want to die. Most the time it is the evenings. I just feel empty and I lose perspective of the people I care about. What hurts is that I can't do anything. I am too weak to kill myself. I can't really explain, hopefully if you post I'll get it all out and maybe find some answers.