I tell them, that I do not wish to have anything done on my birthday, aside from a decent dinner. So, I don't get one. Instead, my mum invited some people for 'coffee', half of which I had to call to invite. But, she states, it's not a birthday party. Which means that there're no gifts. But, she also states, I have to entertain my guests, people whom I don't actually like. At all. But, hey, there'll be cake. Wait, what's that? I'm not allowed to eat any? It's for the guests only? At least I'll be able to go to my room to read. No? I have to stay there until they've all gone home? Well, at least they'll probably slip me some money, as a birthday present. No? They've been told not to, and have never done so before? Well, at least I can enjoy my birthday presents when it's over. No? It's t-shirts with childish toilet humour, and a heavily edited Shakespear too thin to use as toilet paper? Huh. Hey, it could be worse. I mean, I might've gotten no party at all. Except for the whole "I'd rather not have one" thing. But, nah, "I don't want to" is code for "I really want it. Make it as unpleasant as you can without me being able to complain without looking like a spoiled, ungrateful, childish pisshead.", right? Of course it is. What else could it mean? "No"? Don't be silly. If that were so, society would collapse.