Birthday...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Michellekoilover, May 5, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Hi, just got a message from this forum, quite a bit ago since I was here..
    Is the hardest time of the year for me. About 5 min ago, we enter May 5, my birthday.
    The week prior to my birthday is the hardest of the year for me, im always tense, just waiting for something awfull to happen. No one really cares about the "Happy birthday!!" for me, so I have learned no to expect it, from anyone... But I have learned from a long time ago since my adoptive father left me, that this date is when he usually reappears.... and that can never be good. Two years ago he found me entering home about 10pm, drunk as hell (he, not me), and hit me quite hard because i was "out so late, being a ****" when i was just coming from college...
    every year, something like this happen. Im scared, terribly, and the "suicide" ideas get to me more than ever in this date...
    I have never actually told anyone about this, but i though, that maybe writing it here would help me through this day, even if no one reads me...
     
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    My heart goes out to you. I personally do not celebrate birthdays, but I want to assure you that you matter. You have my thoughts and prayers. :hug:
    Have you considered getting a restraining order on you adoptive father? I encourage you to do so.
     
  3. Lonely26

    Lonely26 Member

    Happy birthday!!
    I'm sorry too hear that birthdays aren't that great
    But I wish you the best on your day
    Don't let him being you down
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Happy birthday. I hope you have a peaceful day and take care.
     
  5. I already have one.. But here in Vnzla law is quite different. The restraining order is just a paper that police care very little. Last year when he grabbed me with a friend of his in my own porch and fu***** grabbed me by the hair to cut it close to my head (I was terrified of the scissors, haven't wear my hair loose since then), police didn't even try to find them. They just told me that it looked like some girl fight. I still have to go out in a couple hours for work, wish I could stay inside all day..
    Thanks so much for your wishes and support...is just so hard for me to find any reason to keep going, to actually live trough this day..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 5, 2014
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you can stay at work where he will not bother you Can you get someone from work to take you home or can you stay at your friends house tonight where you can feel safe hun hugs to you
     
  7. I have to go out of work at some point, and all my friends are busy... Dont want to bother anyone neither, so..
    thanks <3
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.