This is it! I feel it! After years with very very little social activities... After knowing that I'm just a piece of trash... I suddenly feel courage foR the first time in my stinking life! My sisters birthday is this Monday and what better way to time my death on this day...Most of the family and friends will attend her party... I really love my sister and wish the best for her but I just can't hold on anymore... I believe I'm ready...but I'm afraid that I will screw up again and chicken out in the last second... I dunno why I even post it here... Could it be that I don't really want to die and just need some advice? I DON'T KNOW IT ANYMORE I REALLY WANT TO DISAPPEAR IN THIS WORLD BUT I FEEL SCARED AND VULNERABLE... WHY DID I EVEN LIVE IF MY DESTINY IS JUST TO BE A PIECE OF GARBAGE?!!!??