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Birthday...

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#1
This is it! I feel it! After years with very very little social activities... After knowing that I'm just a piece of trash... I suddenly feel courage foR the first time in my stinking life! My sisters birthday is this Monday and what better way to time my death on this day...Most of the family and friends will attend her party... I really love my sister and wish the best for her but I just can't hold on anymore... I believe I'm ready...but I'm afraid that I will screw up again and chicken out in the last second... I dunno why I even post it here... Could it be that I don't really want to die and just need some advice? I DON'T KNOW IT ANYMORE I REALLY WANT TO DISAPPEAR IN THIS WORLD BUT I FEEL SCARED AND VULNERABLE... WHY DID I EVEN LIVE IF MY DESTINY IS JUST TO BE A PIECE OF GARBAGE?!!!??
 
#2
This is it! I feel it! After years with very very little social activities... After knowing that I'm just a piece of trash... I suddenly feel courage foR the first time in my stinking life! My sisters birthday is this Monday and what better way to time my death on this day...Most of the family and friends will attend her party... I really love my sister and wish the best for her but I just can't hold on anymore... I believe I'm ready...but I'm afraid that I will screw up again and chicken out in the last second... I dunno why I even post it here... Could it be that I don't really want to die and just need some advice? I DON'T KNOW IT ANYMORE I REALLY WANT TO DISAPPEAR IN THIS WORLD BUT I FEEL SCARED AND VULNERABLE... WHY DID I EVEN LIVE IF MY DESTINY IS JUST TO BE A PIECE OF GARBAGE?!!!??
Lol, i understand you, you may be posting this because you think or you like to think that there's still a little hope out there, you're uncertain, or you may just be scared of dying which is very hard, it requires incredible will-power,effort and courage.
If i die i don't want to leave a note behind, but i've thought about dying in public, it's sick but i'm jealous of them, because they are happier than me so i wanted to leave a permanent mark in their mind. But after all if i'll eventually do it, i'll do it alone.
I know it's painful to live, i'm a piece of trash, but i can guarantee you one thing.
If you put your effort in one thing,if failing doesn't stop you, if you're willing to embrace the pain, you can obtain anything.
 
#3
I don't know what to do anymore... I want to have a normal functioning life but its not that easy... I already have a some sort of suicide note just in case... every second that pass by is agonizing... I don't wanna face my fears but at the same time I don't want to run away from it...
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#4
Hun face them okay just do it time to HEAL okay your sister needs you here to love her please reach out Now and get help you need please
 
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