birthdays

digitaldevil

cartoon enthusiast
#1
i have always had pretty shitty birthdays, and my birthday is coming up this Tuesday (hooray or something?) so ive been quite anxious and just all over the place. i usually get excited every year for my birthday but i have lost the excitement and joy for it considering how every past year has gone horribly wrong. im really hoping this year is better but it’s looking just as bleak as any old year. i also tend to relapse every birthday so ive been scared i might end up in that same spot again. ive been clean for about 2 weeks now, which is good but i can’t help but have the itch and the urge to relapse because i have no REAL coping mechanisms in the first place. anyway, the main point here is that my birthdays are always shit. i always think about last year when i was eating pizza. at my own birthday party. and my aunt went on about how i should join weight watchers with her and starve on different days so i could start losing weight like her. i spent the rest of the day locked in my room crying and feeling guilty for eating. and i did relapse. so i guess i just have this nauseating fear that something is going to set me off or something is gonna happen or im going to end up back in the same constant relapse cycle im always in
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Admin
SF Supporter
#2
@digitaldevil — I’m sorry your birthdays have not been as much fun as birthdays are supposed to be!

I think you deserve to have a happy birthday and I wish you a happy birthday filled with things that are fun and joyful!

It sounds like your aunt doesn’t have filters and doesn’t think before she says things. Yikes! If someone says something like that to you again, ever, you might consider just looking them in the eye, sort of smiling, and saying (politely), “Thank you, but this isn’t the time or place for that. [nanosecond pause] Does anybody watch/play/read…. [some kind of change of subject].” If you do it while keeping your cool, I‘m pretty sure they will get the message and you won’t have to feel really badly.
 
#3
Happy birthday in advance!

That's crazy about your aunt! Everyone knows that even for someone on a diet, it's invalid on your birthday!

Years ago I knew a guy who was traveling for work and got stuck in a strange city on his birthday, where he knew nobody. He went to the local mall and started chatting with people in little coffee shops and so on, asking if they had a "birthday special." He got free coffee and cake and a bunch of treats. And this guy was not someone hot or attractive, just extraverted! I've never tried this myself but I've often wanted to. It's a good story, lol.
 

digitaldevil

cartoon enthusiast
#4
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@digitaldevil — I’m sorry your birthdays have not been as much fun as birthdays are supposed to be!

I think you deserve to have a happy birthday and I wish you a happy birthday filled with things that are fun and joyful!

It sounds like your aunt doesn’t have filters and doesn’t think before she says things. Yikes! If someone says something like that to you again, ever, you might consider just looking them in the eye, sort of smiling, and saying (politely), “Thank you, but this isn’t the time or place for that. [nanosecond pause] Does anybody watch/play/read…. [some kind of change of subject].” If you do it while keeping your cool, I‘m pretty sure they will get the message and you won’t have to feel really badly.
thank you for the kind wish & response it’s greatly appreciated!!! and thank you for the advice, im not very good at speaking up when i need to but if something similar to this happens again then ill definitely keep that in mind
 

digitaldevil

cartoon enthusiast
#5
Happy birthday in advance!

That's crazy about your aunt! Everyone knows that even for someone on a diet, it's invalid on your birthday!

Years ago I knew a guy who was traveling for work and got stuck in a strange city on his birthday, where he knew nobody. He went to the local mall and started chatting with people in little coffee shops and so on, asking if they had a "birthday special." He got free coffee and cake and a bunch of treats. And this guy was not someone hot or attractive, just extraverted! I've never tried this myself but I've often wanted to. It's a good story, lol.
thank you for the happy birthday! :) and honestly that sounds like succchhh a smart idea … getting free birthday treats and coffee??? literally the best
 

Baywasp

I know the world turns and it will turn on me
SF Supporter
#6
Hi @digitaldevil
Birthdays aren't really the best for me either. I remember a couple years ago, none of my 4 roommates remembered/bothered to wish me a happy birthday when it was my day, but i was expected to get all excited about everyone else's birthdays and even in some cases help to buy ingredients for their special birthday dinners. It's a good time for me to feel forgotten about and also upset that I don't have a lot of options for family things because I'm generally estranged from my father, but he and my mother are still living together and married.
I can totally understand this being a difficult time for you. Hope you've had an okay time with this one, but it's totally valid if you've been struggling still.

For me, mine's in a few months still, and I'm working on planning a trip to see some friends in another state around then. This year I will be turning 30 *hiding so I decided I can try and make it special myself even though most others irl don't pay much attention.
 

digitaldevil

cartoon enthusiast
#7
Hi @digitaldevil
Birthdays aren't really the best for me either. I remember a couple years ago, none of my 4 roommates remembered/bothered to wish me a happy birthday when it was my day, but i was expected to get all excited about everyone else's birthdays and even in some cases help to buy ingredients for their special birthday dinners. It's a good time for me to feel forgotten about and also upset that I don't have a lot of options for family things because I'm generally estranged from my father, but he and my mother are still living together and married.
I can totally understand this being a difficult time for you. Hope you've had an okay time with this one, but it's totally valid if you've been struggling still.

For me, mine's in a few months still, and I'm working on planning a trip to see some friends in another state around then. This year I will be turning 30 *hiding so I decided I can try and make it special myself even though most others irl don't pay much attention.
im so happy for you! making the decision to treat yourself is a big and difficult one, i find it hard to to make things special for myself most of the time. i hope it all goes well! and my birthday wasn’t too bad this year, i had my partner by my side so i felt a better about it all.
 

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