So today is my 19th birthday. And I know I should be happy about this cause yay cake, presents and all that crap. But I don't. I feel empty. Not excited or sad even, just a big blank slate of nothing. I was in the bath earlier and I thought 'I could drown myself right here and no one would know for hours.' But I got out quickly cause otherwise I'd actually do it and I have no desire to be found naked. Plus my friends seem to have forgotten. It's 4pm already and I've had a lot of things from my lifeline, my online friend (comments/Pms/Gaia presents and all that) but nothing from my so called friends. So how hard are birthdays for you? Are they easy and make you feel wanted and like for this one day you want to stay on this earth or is the irony appealing to you, to leave on the day you arrived? I know this isn't exactly taking my mind off it but there's someone in the house now so I feel less like I'm gonna do something stupid.